As If They Were Meant To Be
by headoverhook
Summary: AU. What happens when a knight in shining armor and a junkie fall in love with each other? COMPLETE
1. Fate

**I'm just intrigued by AU stories and I had to write it. The idea popped into my head before I even saw the ep. I only needed to see a gif of Mark carrying Lexie being her knight in shining armor. I hope you enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1: Fate<br>**

"Is she going to be okay?" Mark asked quietly.

"You really expect me to talk to you?" Derek said without looking up from the chart.

"Derek, just forget for a moment that I screwed your wife and that she is pregnant with my child." Mark replied harshly. He wasn't in the mood for a fight, he only wanted to know how the woman he'd carried in the ER earlier was doing, even though he had no idea why he cared so much about this patient.

"You want me to forget that you, my best friend, slept with my wife?" Derek hissed, his voice full of rage.

"No. That's not what I've meant. Can we just be civil for a few minutes?"

"Get out, Mark. I can't even look at you right now."

"I … I'm sorry, Derek. But it's my kid she is carrying." Mark took in a deep breath, trying to stay calm. "But I don't want to fight with you right now. I only want to know how your patient is doing."

"Why do you want to know anyway?" Derek spat out through clenched teeth.

"I was the one who brought her in the ER. She was lying unconscious on the street. I almost ran her over. I think I have a right to know if she is doing okay." Mark tried to explain.

"Since when does the infamous Mark Sloan care about another human being than himself?" Derek asked him, his whole posture showing that he had to restrain himself from punching him.

"I'm a doctor, Derek. No matter what happened between us I'm still a doctor. So just tell me what's wrong with her." Mark replied with a slightly raised voice.

"She is a junkie, Mark. That's wrong with her."

"I can see that."

"So what do you care? She is trash." Derek replied annoyed.

"I can't believe you just said that. We are doctors, Derek. We swore an oath. Did you already forget that? Is the money already obscuring your brain?" Mark asked him reproachfully.

"You have to talk. Don't tell me you didn't choose plastics because of the money?" Derek retorted angrily.

"I won't deny it. But it's much more than just the money and I didn't become a doctor because I want to get rich. I became a doctor because I want to help people." Mark defended himself.

"Yeah, of course." Derek said sarcastically.

"You might not want to believe me, Derek. But it's true. I love being a doctor. I love being a plastic surgeon. And not because of the boob jobs. I help people. Did you forget that plastic surgeons aren't only there for the cosmetic surgeries that might be unnecessary in your eyes but also for the ones that are necessary so that a patient can have a normal life again?"

"When you two are done marking your territory can I please get out of here." The quiet voice coming from the bed startled them both and Mark walked quickly to the bed.

"You are awake!" Mark smiled down at her and she rolled her eyes before she answered with a still hoarse voice.

"Apparently. How should I speak if I wouldn't be awake? I always thought doctors are supposed to be smart."

"You've scared me for a second there." Mark told her honestly.

"I'm leaving you two lovebirds to do whatever you want." Derek said mockingly before he stormed off.

"What did you do to piss him off?" She asked him, raising a brow questioningly.

"Getting his wife pregnant." Mark replied quietly.

"That's rich. So you are a sorry excuse for a friend then." She looked up at him, realizing for the first time how captivating his eyes were.

"Hey, I didn't ask for your opinion." Mark replied slightly affronted.

"Well, I gave it to you anyway." She shrugged her shoulders carefully and they stayed silence for a few minutes, Mark staring aimlessly in the distance, giving her the opportunity to look at him more closely. She had to admit that he was a particularly splendid example of a man. Not that she cared anyway. Getting uncomfortable with him sitting by her bed side without saying anything she broke the silence. "So you were my knight in shining armor, huh?"

"Why do I have the feeling you are mocking me?" Mark asked, his brows slightly furrowed.

"Because I am mocking you?"

"You're a handful. I assume your parents aren't happy with what you've become."

"My parents are both dead. I can live my life as I please." She replied, turning her head so that he couldn't see how much his off-handed remark had hurt.

"I'm sorry to hear that." Mark felt the unwelcome urge to squeeze her shoulder, to give her some kind of comfort. But he was sure that she would react badly if he showed her that he felt sorry for her. "So you have no family at all anymore?"

"Well, I have a half-sister. But I don't know her." She murmured, her face still turned away from him

"So … let's take a look at your chart." Mark stood up and walked slowly towards the end of the bed, chuckling slightly when he read the name on the chart. "Lucille Ball? Seriously? You couldn't come up with something more original?"

"It's my name."

"Yeah, of course."

Mark studied the chart carefully, a little shocked when he realized that her heart was in worse shape than he expected.

"Alexandra."

"What?" Mark asked confused, looking up from the chart.

"You wanted to know my name. It's Alexandra. Alexandra Grey."

"Nice name." Mark replied and she let out an indignant snort.

"Oh come on. That's so lame."

"What's lame?"

"You are hitting on me, aren't you?" Lexie asked, rolling her eyes at him once again.

"I'm not hitting on you. Where did you get this idea?"

"Sorry. Lapse of judgment. Of course you don't need to hit on any woman. I'm sure they are standing in line to get into your bed."

"Was that a compliment, Lexie?"

"Whatever. And my name is Alexandra. You are not allowed to call me Lexie."

"But I think Lexie suits you better and I guess I should say thanks for the compliment." Mark looked down at the chart again to hid the smirk that appeared inadvertently on his face.

"What?" Lexie asked affronted, slightly angry with herself because she felt a tug in her stomach when she saw his smirk. "I might not look that appealing to you right now but I'm a woman and you are a man. And not bad looking either. So if I'm stuck here I might as well enjoy the view."

"I'm not a doctor here." Mark explained.

"Too bad. I would have enjoyed seeing you again." Lexie replied flirtatiously, trying to suppress the unexpected butterflies this man evoked in her.

"Really?" Mark looked up surprised.

"No, of course not. Don't flatter yourself. Geez, get a grip, old man." Lexie shot back.

"Watch your mouth. For someone whose chest just got cracked open you are awfully snippy." Mark shook his head in disbelief.

"So there are not going to be any discharge papers I guess?"

"At least not for the next forty-eight hours."

"At least I got all drugged up here." Lexie replied.

"Yeah, about that." Mark shut the chart and looked at her seriously.

"Don't get started. I don't want to hear it. Not now." Lexie said.

"I'm not your doctor anyway. So I just gonna go." Mark informed her.

"Hey?" Lexie shouted after him.

"What now? Do you have another insult for me?" Mark asked impatiently when he turned around to look at her again.

"I …" She averted her gaze and fumbled nervously with the bed sheet. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Mark replied with a small smile on his face, before he turned around to walk away.

"Hey, stop. I've told you my name but I still don't know yours."

Without stopping, he replied over his shoulder.

"It's Mark. Mark Sloan."

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><p><strong>I know it's insane to start another story. But I couldn't get the idea out of my head. So, press the button and tell me what you think.<strong>


	2. A challenge

**Thanks for all the amazing reviews. I'm sorry that it took me so long to write this but well what can I say. Last week's ep got in the way and distracted my muse. She didn't shut up until I wrote a one-shot about it. But I'm glad that my muse was satisfied with a one-shot and let me go back to this story. I really enjoy writing Mark and Lexie in this alternate universe. **

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><p><strong>Chapter 2: A challenge<strong>

"How did I end up in a private room?" Lexie looked around confused, addressing the nurse who had just stepped into her room.

"I got a call from the ER to prep a room for you. Why do you ask?" The nurse asked distracted while she took Lexie's vitals.

"I'm sure you can imagine by only looking at me that I have no insurance to pay for it." Lexie replied. "So there won't be any money at all. Why am I still here?"

"You have to ask your doctor."

"What should she ask her doctor?" Derek rushed into the room, barely looking at Lexie in the bed.

"Why am I still here?" Lexie asked him inquisitively. "Do you have my discharge paper ready?"

"There won't be any discharge." Derek stated sharply. "You need surgery."

"Well, my bad." Lexie replied snippy. She didn't know why they bothered to cart her in a room only to throw her back on the street a few hours later. "I can't have it. No one would pay the bills."

"It's already taking care of." Derek said harshly, opening her chart to check her vitals.

"What do you mean?" Lexie asked, getting more and more confused from minute to minute. The doctor clearly seemed to be annoyed that he had to treat her and considering that she had no insurance at all it wasn't that much of a surprise.

"It's all covered." Derek snapped, not in the mood to talk about it any longer.

"How is this possible? Wait, who is going to pay the bills?" Lexie asked, having no idea who would pay medical bills for a junkie. At least not any person she knew of.

"I can't tell you that. To be honest I don't want to tell you who stepped in for you." Derek replied brusquely, clearly showing his disapproval with whoever was going to pay for it. "He always seems to need the attention." Derek added barely above a whisper and it took Lexie only a few seconds to realize about whom Derek was talking, remembering the fight she'd overheard earlier.

"Damn, it wasn't enough that he played the superhero and carried me in the ER. Now he is also a Good Samaritan? He can't do that." Lexie exclaimed angrily.

"You apparently don't know him. If he wants to do something no one can stop him. Not even an ungrateful junkie." Derek replied aggressively. Maybe the woman in front of him didn't deserve his harsh treatment but finding out that his best friend slept with his wife who was now expecting Mark's baby let him forget all his manners.

"But you must let me go when I sign the papers declaring that I left the hospital against medical advice, right?" Lexie asked hopefully. She didn't want to stay in the hospital. She didn't want to be even more in Mark's dept than she already was.

"You shouldn't try. I'm sure Mark would drag you back."

"Since when does he have to say anything in that matter? I don't even know him." Lexie said furiously. Her savior was getting on her nerves. She didn't ask him for any help and that she felt attracted to him made her even angrier. She just wanted to leave.

"It apparently doesn't keep him from helping you anyway, does it? Though I don't think he's doing it without ulterior motives. No offense, but I can't imagine what he sees in you that he wants to drag you into bed."

"Excuse me?" Lexie asked him totally baffled. How he got the idea that Mark would want to have sex with her was beyond her.

"The only thing Mark is interested in outside of work is sex." Derek enlightened her. "So I assume that he is helping you out to get into your pants."

"Well, he won't get into my pants." Lexie stated exasperatedly.

"Good for you. He would only screw you over and throw you away afterwards."

"He wouldn't be the first." Lexie mumbled almost inaudible.

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing."

"Okay." Derek shut the chart and looked her in the eyes for the very first time. "Dr. Torres will be in here shortly and will talk to you about your heart surgery." Without saying a good-bye Derek turned around and walked out of the door.

"Hey!" Lexie shouted after him. "I want to leave!"

But Derek didn't react in the slightest and just disappeared around the corner and Lexie decided that she should wait until Dr. Torres had been in her room so that she could hopefully sneak out afterwards without someone noticing her disappearance for a few minutes.

~M&L~

Mark leaned against the counter of the nurse station just around the corner to Lexie's room, listening to the conversation between Derek and Lexie as suddenly a voice beside him startled him slightly.

"It doesn't sound as if she is very happy that you're paying her surgery." Mark turned his head around to see who had addressed him, but didn't recognize the brunette woman standing in front of hm.

"Who are you?" Mark snapped, not in the mood for any small talk.

"Dr. Torres. Cardio." The woman held out her hand but Mark ignored her.

"Shouldn't you be in there with Dr. Shepherd?" Mark asked, annoyed that a complete stranger felt the need to talk to him.

"I'm waiting for the drug guy."

"The drug guy?"

"That's what we call our specialist for any drug addiction. We need to talk to her both." The heart surgeon said, pointing in the direction of Lexie's room.

"She needs to get of the drugs." Mark stated, somehow relieved that they were giving Lexie a reason to stop. Hopefully it was enough to convince her, though he doubted it.

"Yes. We can't operate under these circumstances and we have to find a way to do it here in the hospital. We need to monitor her heart all the time. It's going to be rough."

"I'm not sure that she is willing to give it up though."

"Well, maybe your persuasive techniques might come in handy." Mark looked at her questioningly and the woman only smiled broadly at him. "After all you are her knight in shining armor and I've heard you two get along very well."

"This hospital is insane." Mark said, shaking his head in disbelief. The gossip mill was definitely working in this hospital.

"News travel fast here at Seattle Grace." The surgeon confirmed with a proud voice as if gossiping was actually a good thing. Mark hated gossip.

"I've realized." Mark snorted derisively.

"Here he is." She exclaimed when a blond surgeon came down the hallway. "Don't go too far. I think we might need you afterwards. Well, she might need you. You apparently decided to help her. Now you have to go through with it."

Mark looked after them until they disappeared around the corner and decided to look for some coffee. Judging from the conversation he'd just overheard the talk with the heart surgeon wouldn't go smoothly either. It would be better to let her cool off a little before he went to see her.

~M&L~

"Where do you think you're going?" Lexie jumped with surprise when she heard his voice behind her. She'd waited until the change of shifts so that the nurses would be occupied but she didn't consider the possibility that he would come visit her.

"Out of here?" Lexie replied without looking in his eyes, shrugging her shoulders nonchalantly.

"Did the coke screw up your brain completely?" He asked sharply with hardly concealed anger. "You can't go. You won't make it longer than a week."

"Maybe that's exactly what I want." Lexie replied and turned around to face him, starting to feel annoyance about his tenaciousness. Why couldn't he just leave her alone? "Do you ever stop acting like a superhero in a white coat and consider the possibility that I don't need to be rescued?"

"That's obviously not the case. Look at you." Mark said with biting mockery, getting frustrated with her stubbornness. "If I've ever seen someone who needs to be rescued it's you."

"I stopped looking at me a long time ago." Lexie shot back, crossing her arms defensively in front of her chest.

"Well, but _I_ see you and if you ask Derek that doesn't happen very often. From his point of view I'm a selfish bastard who doesn't show any consideration for other people's feelings or their well-being."

"So why start now? Why me?"

"I have no idea." Mark replied quietly, all his anger suddenly gone and his voice got a slightly pleading tone. "I just can't let you go. You need the surgery and I will make sure that you'll get it."

"Why does this seems to be so important for you?" Lexie shook her head uncomprehendingly. "You don't know me. I'm a worthless piece of trash and you are a world-renowned plastic surgeon."

"You are not trash, you just … wait a sec. How do you know my specialty? I never told you." Mark said surprised.

"I'm sure you know these electronic devices with which you can go on something called the internet and there are special sites where you can type in a word and get all the information about it that is available. Pretty handy if you ask me." Lexie deadpanned, biting her tongue to suppress the laughter.

"Smartass." Mark shot back, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "So what did you find out?"

"Dr. Mark Sloan. Born November 27th 1972 in New York. Only child. Attended medical school at Columbia University. Graduated with magna cum laude. He is one of the most highly regarded plastic surgeon on the East Coast. Rumor says that he isn't that far away from getting a Harper Avery." Lexie rattled off, giggling uncharacteristically when she saw Mark's slack-jawed expression and tipped with her finger against her forehead. "Photographic memory. Also pretty handy sometimes."

"Okay, nice summary. So tell me something about you."

"What do you wanna know?"

"Give me a summary." Mark said after a few seconds.

"Alexandra Caroline Grey. Born April 30th 1982 in Seattle. One sister, one half-sister. Attended medical school at Harvard University. Graduated with summa cum laude. Never entered an intern program. Currently junkie." Lexie recited, waiting for his inevitable reaction to the fact that she attended medical school. She wasn't even sure why she told him. It'd just slipped out.

"You attended medical school? At Harvard?" Mark asked totally caught by surprise.

"I always thought with a photographic memory getting through college should be easy. So I chose something that would challenge me at least a little."

"What happened? Why didn't you go into an intern program?" Mark asked. He couldn't believe what he'd just heard with his own ears.

"Life happened." Lexie replied matter-of-factly.

"No, you have to give me more than that." Mark pressed, wanting to know why she decided to throw her whole medical career away.

"My mother died shortly after I graduated and it all went downhill from there. I needed to find a job to pay for the alcohol addiction of my dad, so I took whatever I could get. Mostly waitressing. At some point I had three jobs at once. But no matter how much I worked my butt off it was never enough. Then my dad killed himself and I thought what's the point of it anyway."

"When no one cares what you are doing." Mark whispered understandingly.

"You can drop dead any second." Lexie continued without any indication if she even heard Mark's statement. "You can freaking die of hiccups. Why should I even bother to live a normal life?"

"How did you get along?" Mark asked curiously. "I mean, did you continue to work as a waitress?"

"Every now and then and I had a trust fond from my grandfather which strangely survived my dad's alcoholism because he couldn't get a hold on the money. I didn't need much. I drank myself into oblivion most of the time, combining alcohol with drugs. I can't even remember what I was doing most of the nights. I woke up in strange beds with random guys I'd picked up the night before at a bar. I didn't care. I never stayed."

A shiver ran down his spine when he saw how stoically Lexie told him her story. There was almost no life in her eyes anymore, though he had seen a small shimmer when she talked about dying of hiccups what gave him hope that she still had some fighting spirit in her. Sensing that she needed a few minutes alone, he walked into the adjacent bathroom and splashed some water into his face. He had known beforehand that her story wouldn't be pretty but hearing her telling him with this emotionless voice that she had sex with guys she barely knew had made him kind of angry.

Lexie stared at the bathroom door, trying to not expect anything from him. Why did she tell him all of this anyway? She barely knew him but she didn't expect of him that he wanted to know the details and there was just something about him. Something that made her feel safe when he was around but she couldn't put her finger on it. The feeling was just there, every time he walked into her room.

Her thoughts were interrupted when the bathroom door opened and Mark stepped out. Leaning against the wall next to it, he gave her a scrutinizing look. Feeling uncomfortable under his gaze, Lexie cleared her throat determined to distract him so that he would stop staring at her with these intense blue eyes.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure. Shoot."

"Do you love her?" Lexie asked cautiously.

"Excuse me?"

"The wife of your best friend. Do you love her?" Lexie elaborated but almost regretted her question when she saw the expression on his face.

"I don't think that's any of your business." Mark replied sharply.

"I was just wondering."

"Wondering about what?"

"If it was worth it to screw her and risk the friendship. It would be pretty stupid if you don't love her." Lexie watched him carefully, expecting an explosion every second but Mark surprised her when he took in a deep breath and pinched his nose before he actually answered her.

"I thought I did love her at the time. But she doesn't want me as the father of the baby. She doesn't want a baby with me. She wants a baby with Derek and I ruined it for her." Mark explained and Lexie could hear in his tone how much this fact hurt him and she felt a sudden protectiveness towards him.

"So she gives you all the blame?"

"I'm used to it." Mark replied, shrugging his shoulders as if it didn't bother him at all. But his expressive eyes told another story. "I'm what some might call a man whore. I sleep with a lot of women and I don't really care about their feelings. So I shouldn't be surprised when the women turn the tables. Maybe I deserve it."

"So why don't you stop acting like a jerk?" Lexie asked slightly accusatory.

"Why don't you stop ruining your health?" Mark shot back.

Lexie stood only a few feet away from him, both with crossed arms, staring in each others' eyes as if they would play 'Who is going to blink first'.

"You just can't do it." Mark suddenly broke the silence.

"What?" Lexie asked, not sure if he was talking about the staring contest or something else.

"Stop using drugs." Mark replied defiantly.

"Is that a challenge?" Lexie raised her brows in question.

"It's only a challenge if you accept it."

"Okay, fine. I'll stay." Lexie stepped forward and jabbed her finger in his chest. "But it's just to prove you wrong."

"I can live with that." Mark smiled smugly and Lexie felt the urge to slap the smile of his face but instead she turned around and stomped back to the bed and slumped on it with a heavy sigh but Mark could see the brief smile that escaped her before he turned around and left the room without another word.

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><p><strong>Thanks to Jime-GA-Lover for suggesting that Lexie could actually have gone to medical school before she became a junkie. <strong>

**I wish you all a great ep on Thursday. I don't expect much M/L in it but at least I have the scenes from last week to live on. :-) I can watch them over and over again. When Mark called her Lex my heart stopped for a second. **

**Please review. I would love to hear from you all.**


	3. The withdrawal

**Thanks for the reviews and all the alerts. I'm glad that you are enjoying the story.**

**This chapter is a little like a rollercoaster ride. So … fasten your seat belts and let's get started.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 3: The withdrawal<strong>

"Can I do anything? Would it help if I'm in there with her?" Mark asked the doctor who was standing right next to him.

"She doesn't have any family, right?" Dr. Taylor replied. He was the doctor who would supervise Lexie's withdrawal and Mark had heard that he was very experienced in the field, exactly what he wanted for Lexie. The best possible treatment.

"That's correct. I just want to help."

"We can give it a try." Dr. Taylor said. "Do you have any experiences with addicts?"

"Not personally. But I read a lot about it."

"It's going to be hard." Dr. Taylor tried to prepare him.

"I'm well aware of that. I know that this isn't going to be a walk in the park. I'm a doctor."

"I just wanted to warn you. Even when you are prepared it's always tough to see someone in pain. Especially when you can't take the pain away." Dr. Taylor explained. "But of course you know what I'm talking about. As a doctor you've seen it often enough. But it's still different when you have personal ties to the patient and I can see that you care about her."

"I just don't want her to go through this alone." Mark told him quietly.

"Go ahead. She is still in an early stage. The withdrawal symptoms are still weak. Talk to her. It might distract her for a while."

When Mark entered the room Lexie was lying with her back to him, staring aimlessly out of the window. After he closed the door, she spoke without turning around.

"Go away, Mark. I don't want you here."

"Too bad. I'm not leaving." Mark said firmly.

"Just leave me alone." Lexie said softly and after a brief pause she turned around and looked into his eyes. "Please?"

Mark stepped forward and pulled a chair to her bedside before he sat down and leaned forward, putting his elbows on his knees.

"I want to help, Lexie. Why are you pushing me away?"

Mark could see the fear flashing across her eyes. She was scared and he could understand why.

"I ..." Lexie gulped hard.

"What is it, Lexie? Maybe if you just tell me? It might make things easier." Mark said softly, feeling almost completely useless. If she didn't want him to help her then it would be pointless to be there for her. It would probably make it even worse.

"It might sound silly, but ..." Lexie took in a deep breath before she blurted out. "I don't want you to see me like this. Actually I don't want anyone to see me like this. I hate to be weak. I hate it to have no control over my body."

"Lex, did you forget that I'm a doctor. I've seen it all. Helping you get through this is not gonna change the way I look at you."

"I want no pity."

"This has nothing to do with pity." Mark stated firmly but Lexie still looked at him with disbelief in her eyes so he offered her a deal. "Look, let's just try it. Okay? If you want me gone later you can throw me out of the room anytime."

"And you will really leave?" Lexie asked him slightly suspicious.

"If you really want me gone at some point I'll go." Mark affirmed. "Deal?"

"Okay! Deal!"

~M&L~

"When I told you the other day that I didn't see the point in it all after my dad died, you said something like 'when no one cares'. You weren't only talking about me, were you?" Lexie asked him cautiously. Since the moment he mentioned it she was curious what he had been referring to.

"No." Mark replied.

"Can you tell me the story behind that statement?" Lexie pressed further, trying to get him to open up a little.

"It's a long story and not very unique. I'm sure a lot of kids have to deal with such things." Mark tried to avoid talking about it but Lexie didn't want to give up.

"I would really like to hear it. Besides, I can need a distraction." Lexie said softly.

Mark knew that she was in pain even though she was trying desperately to hide it. He'd told her that he would help her and if telling her the pathetic story of his life would do the trick why should he refuse to tell her.

"Okay." Mark breathed in deeply and started to tell her his story. "My parents should have never had kids. I was a mistake and since I can remember they let me know that they don't give a damn about me. They treated me like I was just another of their status symbols. Their house, their boat, their horse, their child. I was only of any use for them when they could brag with me. They didn't care how I was feeling. They shunted me off to various nannies and engaged tutors for me. They thought that would make them dutiful parents."

"They didn't care what you were doing as long as it didn't interfere with their life." Lexie stated, feeling sad for him that his parents apparently didn't love him the way they should have.

"Yes. At first I thought that was how it was supposed to be. That my parents just loved me in a different way." Mark tried to explain. "But then I met Derek."

"And you saw that it could be different."

"I don't know what I would've done without Derek and his mom." Lexie could hear the affection in his voice. They clearly meant a lot to him. "As soon as I met Derek my life changed. His mom treated me like I was her own son right from the beginning. She was the one who taught me wrong from right. She practically raised me."

"She did a good job." Lexie smiled, trying to cheer him up a little.

"I'm not so sure about that. I treat myself and everyone around me like crap. No matter how welcomed I was in Derek's home the treatment of my parents affected my life." Mark looked deep into her eyes and realized that he'd revealed more than he wanted to and he retreated immediately using the only way he knew. By joking about it. "Maybe I should pay you money. My shrink is charging four hundred dollars for one session. You can get rich with me."

Lexie could see that Mark needed to make fun of it. That he'd told her more than he had been willing to reveal to her and she didn't want him to feel uncomfortable so she let it slide without poking deeper. When she suppressed a yawn Mark immediately stood up and told her that she should get some rest and that he would come back later. Lexie looked after him, feeling a strange urge to jump up and take him in her arms but she was fairly certain that he wouldn't appreciate it so she stayed under the covers.

When Mark looked back at her through the window she'd already closed her eyes and he lingered for a few minutes, asking himself why he'd told an almost complete stranger what he was trying to hide from everyone else in his life. He didn't even talk with Derek about this but of course his best friend knew his parents. Derek knew how screwed up his parents were and he tried to help him in every way he could and Mark had repaid him by sleeping with his wife. Mark wondered if he would ever stop hurting the people he loved the most, if he would ever stop destroying the best things in his life or if he was never able to stop the self-destructing course of his life.

~M&L~

"Tell me a funny story." Lexie demanded from him the next time he came to visit her.

"I can't think of one right now." Mark replied, drawing a blank.

"Come on. Tell me about high school. I bet you were a quarterback on the football team and your girlfriend was a cheerleader."

"Yep, but she was the head cheerleader." Mark smiled and Lexie chuckled slightly.

She should have known that Mark Sloan wouldn't date anyone less. She would bet that she'd looked gorgeous in her uniform and that the two of them had made a gorgeous couple. Curious to learn more about his youth she dug deeper.

"So no girl ever had the guts to stand up to you? All of them were all gooey eyes and anticipated your every wish?"

"Pretty much." Mark said with a smug grin on his face before he suddenly chuckled, apparently remembering something. "Except of Shannon Logan."

"Oh, judging from your face this story should be good. What happened?"

"It took me a little longer to persuade her to meet me under the bleachers ..." Mark started to speak.

"Under the bleachers?" Lexie interrupted him. "Ohh, Mark Sloan you were a naughty little boy, weren't you?"

"Little, no. But naughty? I guess you can say that." Mark joked lightheartedly.

"So what did she do to the _biiiiggg _Mark Sloan?" Lexie mocked.

"Are you making fun of me?"

"Wouldn't dream of it." Lexie deadpanned.

"I won't tell the story if you don't behave."

"Of course you will tell me even if I not behave. So go on."

"Fine. I will tell you." Mark smiled down at her and continued his story. "Well, we closed the deal that night."

"No surprise there." Mark raised his eyebrows and Lexie smirked. "Shutting up now."

"And when I woke up in the morning ..." Mark paused briefly to increase the suspense and Lexie involuntarily leaned forward slightly, anxious to hear what had happened in the morning. "... she was gone." Mark concluded.

"That's it?" Lexie asked disappointed.

"Well, she left with everything."

"What do you mean?"

"Her clothes, the sleeping bags and ..." Mark bit his tongue, trying to suppress the laughter when he saw the eagerness on Lexie's face. "... all _my _clothes."

"Seriously?" Lexie laughed out loud.

"Yep. It was kind of embarrassing to walk over the campus only with a cardboard box around my midsection." Mark smiled and Lexie laughed even harder as she imagined the picture in her head.

After she calmed down a little she looked pensively at him, contemplating if she should really ask him the question that had just popped into her head and she decided that she had just too much fun with his story to stop now.

"So ... do you always sleep naked?" Lexie smiled mischievously and Mark couldn't avoid the blush that crept over his face after her question. "I like that." Lexie added, grinning from ear to ear now.

"So was this story funny enough for you?" Mark asked, trying to distract her from her question.

"Yeah, and very interesting. Definitely stimulated my imagination." Lexie replied suggestively, while her eyes trailed over his body.

"Ohh, you better not go there." Mark wagged a finger at her.

"Why not?" Lexie asked flirtatiously. "It's only my imagination, right?"

"I don't want you to imagine how I look like naked."

"Who said anything about naked?"

"You are unbelievable. I'm going." Mark stood up, shaking his head in mock disbelief. He could still hear Lexie's laughter behind him when he walked around the corner and a big smile appeared on his face. He didn't know that the next time he would see her everything would be different.

~M&L~

"Please, Mark. Let me go. It hurts so much." Lexie pleaded desperately.

"You can't go and you know it." Mark said firmly.

"Let me go!" Lexie demanded, starting to get furious and Mark had to dig his fingers in her arms to hold her on the bed. She was shaking violently under his hands and the sweat was pouring down her face. Looking at him with wild eyes, she tried to get out of his grip

"I can't." Mark replied desperately.

"Let me go!" Lexie shouted, pounding her fists against his chest. Two nurses and a doctor rushed into the room trying to calm Lexie down but she seemed to get even more furious.

"Get out of here, Mark." Lexie yelled. "Leave me alone. I want you gone."

Even though Mark knew that Lexie wasn't herself right now her words still hurt. But when the other doctor nodded slightly in the direction of the door he knew that he had to go. Lexie wouldn't calm down as long as he was in the room.

"Leave me alone!" Lexie shouted after him.

After Dr. Torres had heard from the incident with Lexie she tried to find Mark and finally found him in a supply closet. When she opened the door, his head jerked around to her but he immediately faced the shelf again to wipe over his eyes before he turned around, clearly not wanting her to see that there had been tears in his eyes.

"We've told you it's going to be rough." Dr. Torres stated compassionately. "But you have no obligation to stay. You can leave any time."

"I can't leave her alone." Mark said determined.

"We'll take care of her. I promise."

"I'm not going." Mark replied stubbornly. "She would stop fighting. I will not leave her. No way." Mark's voice grew louder with his last words and suddenly he turned around and stormed out of the room.

Dr. Torres stood frozen in her spot, surprised by how passionately he refused to leave. A small smile escaped her when it suddenly dawned on her.

"Oh my, he's falling in love with her. Who would have thought that a surgeon would fall in love with a junkie?"

~M&L~

As Mark entered her room the next time, he saw the brief flash of relief that washed over her face before she smiled shakily at him.

"I'm glad that you stayed." Lexie said barely above a whisper.

"It never crossed my mind to leave you." Mark replied honestly.

"I'm sorry." Lexie breathed.

"For what?" Mark asked, walking slowly towards her bed.

"For yelling at you. For being incredible awful."

"Don't mention it." Mark shrugged it off and Lexie put her hand on his, stroking absentmindedly with her thumb over the back of his hand.

"I really appreciate your help. Thank you, Mark."

"You're welcome." Mark replied, almost holding his breath when Lexie continued to caress his hand though he wasn't sure if she completely realized what she was doing.

~M&L~

"Hey." Lexie greeted him quietly when he entered the room.

"Hey. How are you?" Mark asked as he saw that she was already prepped for surgery.

"I'm fine. But I'm sure that'll change when I wake up after the surgery."

"Probably."

"Will you be here afterwards?" Lexie asked him, afraid that he might say no.

"You mean after the surgery?"

"Can I ... I ... I would really like to see you when I wake up if you don't have anything better to do."

"I'll be here."

~M&L~

Mark leaned forward as he heard Lexie stirring in her bed and put his hand carefully over hers. Her eyes began to flutter and opened slowly. When she spotted him a smile appeared on her face and she whispered.

"You are here."

"I told you that I would be here. Everything went well with the surgery. There should be no complications."

"Good." Lexie breathed before she closed her eyes again, drifting back to sleep.

Mark stayed a few more minutes, watching her sleep before he stood up and left her room. He needed to find Dr. Torres. He'd made a decision.

~M&L~

"Tell her she should take care of herself this time. Tell her ..." Mark trailed off.

"You're sure you don't want to stay. I'm fairly certain that she wants to see you the next time she wakes up." Dr. Torres replied.

"No. It's better this way. Just make sure she'll get the proper treatment. Don't let her relapse while she is recovering from the surgery. She should go to a clinic afterwards. Give me a call when she has decided where she wants to go. I'll pay."

"I don't think she is going to like it. She might just refuse to go so that you are forced to come back."

"That's not going to happen. I won't come back." Mark stated firmly.

"And what's with Addison and the baby?" Dr. Torres asked cautiously.

"Addison doesn't want me here. I just piss her off even more when I stay. It's better I'll let my lawyer take care of the custody issues."

"She would scold you for giving up that easily, you know?" Dr. Torres said, fairly certain that Lexie wouldn't be very happy about his actions.

"I know. Just one more reason to go. It's better for me and for her."

"I doubt that."

"My decision is made." Mark said, clearly not changing his mind. "Please, just give her this letter. Okay?"

"Sure, I can do that. Even though I don't think you should run away." Dr. Torres replied.

"I can't stay. I just can't. I need to go back to my life in New York."

"Okay. So good bye, Dr. Sloan. It was nice to meet you."

"Likewise, Dr. Torres. Good bye."

When Mark passed by Lexie's room he stopped one more time and looked through the window at the woman in the bed and Dr. Torres was surprised when she saw the longing in his eyes. He loved her but she was sure that he didn't realize that he was running away from the one thing that apparently scared him the most. Having deeper feelings for the woman in the hospital room. He wasn't going back to his life, he was running away from the life this woman could offer him.

She had watched them over the last couple of weeks and she'd seen that Lexie also had feelings for him. But both of them had been burnt once too often in the past and neither wanted to accept the fact that they were falling in love with each other in fear of getting hurt again. She really hoped for both of them that Lexie wouldn't give up on him that easily and that she would fight for him as soon as she had fully recovered.

~M&L~

"Mark?"

The moment Lexie woke up again she asked for Mark and Dr. Torres wasn't pleased that she was the one who had to tell her that Dr. Sloan was no longer in Seattle but she decided that it would be best to tell her immediately.

"He isn't here."

Lexie struggled to straighten herself but winced when the pain shot from her chest in every fiber of her body and Dr. Torres stepped forward to help her lying down again.

"Whoww, easy there. It will take a while until you can move normally."

"Where is he?" Lexie asked, looking around frantically.

"He gave me this letter for you." Dr. Torres replied, prolonging to tell her the truth.

"Why did he give you a letter?" Lexie stared confused at the white envelope in her hands.

"He left Seattle. He went back to New York."

"No!" Lexie exclaimed.

"I'm afraid so."

"Why?" Lexie asked bewildered.

"I have no idea. Maybe you should read the letter."

Lexie looked at the white envelope in the doctor's hand with her name scrawled over it and she reluctantly took it. Dr. Torres scribbled something in Lexie's chart before she left the room to give her patient some privacy. Lexie's hand trembled when she ripped the envelope open and pulled out one sheet of paper, folded neatly in the middle. Stroking with her finger carefully over the paper, she unfolded it and started to read.

_Hey Lexie,_

_I know that you are probably very angry at me right now and maybe I deserve it but I couldn't stay. It has nothing to do with you. I'm happy that I could help you in these hard times. But you are over the worst and I know that nothing can stop you now. You probably don't want to hear it but after you've fully recovered from the surgery you should go into a clinic for a few months. Let them help you to deal with your addiction and then apply for an intern program. You are going to be an amazing surgeon. I believe in you and in your strength. Don't let your fears get the better of you again. You are an incredible woman. I know it and deep down you know it too. Take care of yourself, Lex. Maybe one day our paths will cross again._

_Mark _

Lexie clutched the letter against her chest while a lonely tear trailed down her face. She'd never believed in fate but after meeting Mark she wasn't so sure if she shouldn't start to believe in it. She hadn't admitted it to herself but she enjoyed the time with him, talking to him about everything. Now that he was gone, she felt hollow. Something was definitely missing though she wasn't able to give the feeling a name. The only thing she knew was that they weren't done yet. He wouldn't get away with only writing her a farewell letter and disappearing out of her life like this. She would take his advice and get some help with her addiction but after that she would hunt him down. If only to see him one more time. If only to give this whole thing between them a proper closure.

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><p><strong>I intentionally didn't give you any timeline because I have no idea how long it would take until Lexie would be clean so that they can do the surgery. I just wanted to give you some glimpses in what I think could happen between those two while Lexie is going through the withdrawal.<strong>

**So we all need to keep our fingers crossed that we get something on Thursday. I hope that someone tells Mark why Jackson broke up with Lexie so that he finally gets a clue that she is still deeply in love with him. Apparently he needs someone to spell it out for him.**


	4. Thai food

**Thanks for the reviews. **

**And only FYI, as long as I don't put the words **_'The end'_** under a chapter I'm not done with the story. I still have some ideas for this story so there are still some chapters left. :-) Enjoy! **

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><p><strong>Chapter 4: Thai food<strong>

The last time he'd seen Lexie was six months ago, the last time he'd spoken to her was six months ago. Dr. Torres had told him that she'd gone to a clinic after she'd recovered from surgery but that she'd refused to take any more money from him. Not that he was in the slightest surprised. She was a fighter. He should stop worrying about her, she would find her way. But as hard as he tried to convince himself that she was out of his life forever he couldn't stop thinking about her.

Addison had given birth to their daughter Kate five months ago and even though they had an agreement that he could see her as much as he wanted to it just wasn't the same as if they were living in the same city. She still lived on the other side of the country because after Derek and she got divorced she decided to join the private practice of her friend Naomi in Los Angeles.

It took a toll on him, being apart from his daughter for such long times. He only managed to see her once a month and he missed her terribly the rest of the time. What made it worse was the fact that he caught himself over and over again thinking about how Lexie was doing and what she would have to say to this whole Addison situation. He missed their talks, he missed her humor. If he was honest with himself he missed everything about her. But she lived her own life now and he should stop living in the past, missing something he would never get back.

Suddenly a knock at his door interrupted his thoughts and when he opened it he stared with utter disbelief at the person that was standing in front of him, certain that she had to be a ghost.

"What are you doing here? How do you even know where I live?" Mark asked completely taken aback.

"Derek." Lexie replied without any greeting. "He really hates you. He thought giving me your address would annoy you."

"Why are you here?"

"I don't know. To thank you?" Lexie said, looking him directly in the eyes, a small smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. "Can I come in?"

"Sure." Mark stepped back to let her in, still confused by her presence. "You came over 2000 miles to see me. The least I can do is offer you a coffee."

"Always the gentleman. Don't you get tired of it sometimes?" Lexie asked jokingly, looking him up and down. He looked good. As handsome as five months ago though she could see new wrinkles around his eyes and she would bet that Addison was the reason why sadness clouded his eyes.

"So we are back at being sarcastic and obnoxious?" When Mark saw the brief flash of hurt that flickered over her face, he cursed inwardly. She didn't deserve such a harsh behavior. "I'm sorry. I'm just in a bad mood today. How have you been? Everything okay?"

"I'm fine and before you ask. I didn't take anything since you found me on the street."

"That's good." Mark watched her while she was strolling through his apartment. She got rid of the dreadlocks and all visible piercings had disappeared. Her hair shimmered in a dark brown and the only thing that reminded of her past was the tattoo that was visible above the hem of her shirt.

"I like your apartment. It's so you." Lexie said nonchalantly, trying to break through the awkwardness by choosing a safe subject.

"You don't know me."

"True. But it suits you. Can you say that about an apartment? It sounds a little weird." Lexie rambled before she turned around to him and put her hands on her hips, stating provocatively. "Anyway, what were you thinking?"

"Excuse me?" Mark asked baffled.

"Disappearing without saying good bye." Lexie clarified, raising her eye brows questioningly.

"I wrote you a letter." Mark replied though he didn't even know why he defended himself. He still believed that it had been the right choice. "Didn't you get it?"

"Sure. Dr. Torres gave it to me the moment I woke up." Lexie said dryly.

"So I said good bye." Mark stated in a quiet voice. But judging by the expression on Lexie's face she hadn't been pleased by his good bye note.

"With a letter, Mark!" Lexie huffed, confirming his suspicion.

"Are you angry with me?" Mark asked carefully.

"Of course I'm angry with you." Lexie said exasperatedly. "Though it's been five months since the last time I saw you. So I'll abstain from getting violent."

"Getting violent?" Mark asked surprised, slightly stunned by her anger.

"Don't you think that saying good bye with a letter after all we've been through together deserves a slap in the face?"

"Okay, I get it. You were mad."

"I still am." Lexie replied quietly. "I thought we were friends and not that you would disappear the moment you've thought that you've fulfilled your duties."

"I thought it would be better for both of us." Mark tried to explain.

"Why?"

"I just needed to get away from Seattle." Mark answered, not willing to get into all the reasons why he'd left Seattle.

"I've missed you." Lexie said softly, catching him completely off-guard.

"What?" Mark locked eyes with her, not certain if he'd heard correctly.

"I've missed you, Mark." Lexie smiled when she saw the surprised look on his face. "I loved our talks. It's been a long time since I had a friend to talk to and it was really nice for a change."

"I liked talking to you too." Mark smiled back.

"So ... I'm actually here for a week. Maybe we can grab some diner together sometime?"

"Actually I was thinking about ordering some take out. Do you want to join me?" Mark surprised himself by asking her but he didn't want her to leave just yet.

"Thai?"

"Sure. We can order Thai."

"I love Thai! So yeah, I would like to join you."

~M&L~

When the food arrived they sat down on the couch table to eat, spreading the several boxes over the whole table. Mark asked about the rehabilitation facility and Lexie wanted to know what had happened with Addison. She was clearly not approving how he'd handled the whole situation. He could see it in her eyes. But at least Addison and he came to the agreement that he had unrestricted visiting rights without going through court and Lexie could understand that a better arrangement would have been hard to achieve as they both lived on opposite ends of America.

Lexie asked him about his practice and about his operations, eager to learn more about plastics. She'd always been fascinated by this specialty while she was going through med school. She convinced Mark that he would take her with him to his next operation on Monday so that she could watch the operation from the gallery after she'd told him that she'd decided to do an internship, continuing her medical career.

Mark felt extremely comfortable with her in his apartment. She was the first woman after Addison who wasn't only here because he wanted to sleep with her. He enjoyed talking to her, watching her while she explained to him what she wanted to see while she was in New York, smiling slightly when he saw how excited she was about going sight-seeing.

Lexie felt safe with him. It was just so easy to talk to him. She loved to banter with him, teasing him until his eye brows furrowed when she'd overdone it. She'd really missed talking to him. Maybe it had been the right decision to come to New York after all. She would really love to have Mark as her friend. Maybe she could even intern at a hospital in New York.

When they both grabbed for the box with meecrob their hands collided and suddenly the whole room seemed to be charged with sexual tension when they locked eyes. Just a few seconds ago they were laughing and chatting like old friends but with only one touch of her hand Mark realized that being friends wasn't enough for him. Judging by the expression in her eyes, he wasn't the only one who felt the tension and he brushed with his thumb over the back of her hand, watching her closely for any reaction.

But suddenly she pulled her hand back and stood up quickly. Grabbing her purse, she rushed towards the door, turning around with her hand on the door knob.

"Thanks for the diner but I have to go now. I'll get in touch with you tomorrow."

"Sure. Give me a call. You have my number?" Lexie only nodded and before Mark could say anything else she had left, leaving him behind with mixed emotions. He wasn't sure if he should feel happy that she was here or if the fact that she would be in New York for a whole week should terrify him.

~M&L~

Mark woke up with a start when he heard an insisting pounding on his door. Looking at the clock, he realized that it was already three o'clock in the morning and he wondered who could be at the other side of the door. Not bothering to put on some clothes he walked towards the door in only his boxer briefs and looked through the peep-hole, surprised to see Lexie standing in front of it. When he opened the door he saw the scared look on her face. She had her arms wrapped tightly around her torso as if she needed to hold herself together and he immediately pulled her into his apartment.

"What happened?" Mark asked urgently.

"I was so close to get another fix, Mark." Lexie said barely above a whisper, fighting with the tears that welled up in her eyes. "So damn close. I … I don't know if I can make it."

"Come here." Mark pulled her into his embrace and pressed her against his body, rubbing his hands soothingly over her back.

"I just …" Lexie shuddered in his arms. "You are the only one I can go to. I don't have anyone else."

"You are shaking." Mark replied softly. "Maybe you should take a bath."

"I don't want to take a bath." Lexie said.

"But it might warm you up." Mark reasoned.

"I don't want to take a bath." Lexie whispered before she raised herself on her tiptoes and pressed her lips against his.

"Lex, what are you doing?" Mark pushed her away and looked down into her face.

"Have I already told you that I really like it when you call me Lex?" Lexie replied, slipping her hands around his neck.

"Stop it, Lexie." Mark pulled at her hands, trying to get out of her embrace.

"Don't fool yourself, Mark." Lexie said, pressing her body into his. "You want me. I know it. I can feel it."

"Yes, I want you." Mark admitted. He didn't see a point in lying when his body clearly stated that he wanted her. "But not like this."

"Like what?" Lexie asked, smiling slightly when Mark's hands dropped to her waist. "Like you are only a distraction for me so that I don't think about a fix for a few minutes?"

"Minutes?" Mark replied slightly affronted, his hands tightening around her waist. "I think you are underestimating me."

"What's wrong with getting distracted for a little while?" Lexie asked, licking her lips provocatively. He'd stopped trying to push her away, she would take that as a good sign.

"I've done enough of that. I'm just sick of it." Mark said honestly.

"Then let's do it one last time. Sort of a good bye to your old life?"

"I don't think this is a good idea."

"Geez, Mark." Lexie pressed her hands in his chest and leaned back against his hands that were still wrapped around her waist. "Drop your pants! Or are you afraid that you can't handle me, old man?"

"You are trying to bait me, aren't you?"

"Is it working?" Lexie asked smugly. She'd seen the brief flash of desire in his eyes when she'd pressed her lower body further into his. She was fairly certain that he wouldn't resist her for much longer.

"Yes, it's working." Mark admitted before he bent down to kiss the smug grin of her face. "Let me show you what an old man can do to you."

"I'm looking ..." But Mark didn't let Lexie finish the sentence before he crushed his lips on hers. Burying one hand in her hair, he pulled her with the other one further into him. He kissed her demandingly, trailing his tongue along her bottom lip until she opened her lips with a sigh and kissed him back.

The moment their tongues met it was as if a shot of electricity rushed through their bodies and Lexie wrapped her hands around his neck, pushing her hips forward in the desperate need to get even closer to him.

When they needed to come up for air, Mark leaned back to look into her eyes. "Don't forget that you were the one who've asked for it?"

"Are you afraid that I will regret it?" Lexie asked breathlessly before she smiled mischievously. "Don't worry. I don't think that you will disappoint me."

"You little minx." Mark suddenly bent down and lifted her up and Lexie shrieked surprised, wrapping her legs around his waist so that they wouldn't lose their balance. "Yeah, that's much better. Just so you know who is in control."

"You think you are in control?" Lexie asked him, licking her lips suggestively. "I wouldn't be so sure about that."

"Want to find out?"

"Didn't I make myself clear the first time I've kissed you? I'm dying to find out what Mark Sloan is like between the sheets."

"And you will." Mark replied, carrying her towards his bedroom.

Every thought of backing out had vanished. He wanted her, she wanted him. They would deal with the implications and their complicated lives tomorrow. Right now he was determined to make her scream, to give her exactly what she wanted, to let them forget how screwed up life was for a few precious hours, to let them forget that their lives were anything but easy.

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><p><strong>Have a nice weekend! See you hopefully all next week. <strong>


	5. Breakfast and a surprise visit

**Thanks for the reviews!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 5: Breakfast and a surprise visit<strong>

When Lexie opened her eyes slowly, she needed a few seconds before she remembered what had happened the night before. Why she wasn't lying in her own bed. A lazy smile appeared on her face as she remembered what exactly had happened between Mark and her. He definitely didn't disappoint but she knew that beforehand.

"Penny for your thoughts."

Lexie turned her head around, a smirk curling up her lip when she saw him leaning against the door frame wearing only his sweat pants. His hair looked like he had disheveled it on purpose and her hand itched to run her own hands through it. The pants were sitting low on his hips and she wanted nothing more than trailing her lips along the line of hair down his stomach.

"You."Lexie said softly.

"Yeah?" Mark asked her, cocking an eyebrow.

"No, I meant that's what I was thinking about." Lexie clarified.

"Ohhh. I hope the thoughts were good."

"Very good." Lexie replied suggestively.

"I made breakfast. Do you want pancakes?" Mark replied, trying to steer the conversation in a different direction. He didn't trust himself when she was looking at him like that and he wasn't sure if they should go down that path again.

"Actually, I'm allergic to eggs. So no."

"I know that." Lexie raised her eyebrows quizzically. "I've read your chart. Remember? I have a pancakes mix without eggs somewhere."

"Really? Why?" Lexie asked surprised.

"Okay, you've got me. I just bought it." Mark admitted.

"That's very thoughtful of you." Lexie said. Tilting her head, she looked at him pensively. "I could have sworn that you are one of those men who couldn't get rid of the woman they just spent the night with fast enough."

"True. But you're not some stranger I picked up in a bar." Mark explained.

"No. Just a stranger you've picked up on the street." Lexie replied matter-of-factly. "I don't see the difference."

"Maybe there is none." Mark locked eyes with her for a few seconds before he averted his gaze and changed the subject once again. "So, what about breakfast now?"

Lexie realized that Mark apparently was determined to not talk about what happened last night especially since he didn't feel the need to throw her out of his apartment. But somehow Lexie couldn't resist to tease him further. "I know I should be embarrassed that I jumped you last night but it was so worth it."

Mark's head jerked up and when he saw the mischievous grin on her face, a smile appeared on his face. "My age didn't show then?"

"Nope." Lexie replied. Wrapping the sheet around her, Lexie straightened herself. "So ... I do like to have breakfast but I have a different kind of breakfast in mind."

"And what would that be?" Mark asked quietly, so the look in her eyes gave him a pretty good idea what she wanted and his resolve to stay away from her already crumbled down in warp speed.

"Are you on the menu too?" Lexie put her feet down on the floor, looking at him expectantly.

"That hungry?"

"You have no idea."

"We don't want you to starve to death."

"Exactly." Lexie stood up and walked slowly towards him until only a few inches separated their bodies. "So I would like to have Mark Sloan on top as an appetizer, under me as main dish and for dessert I would like to have a shower with him. Do you think you can manage that?"

"Hmm ..." Mark mumbled above her lips, wrapping his hands around her waist to pull her into him. "That's going to be a long breakfast."

"Well, I'm starving." Lexie replied before she closed the small gap between their lips and walked backwards, taking him with her.

~M&L~

Several hours later they were lying entwined in his bed, both completely satisfied and extremely exhausted. Mark trailed his hand along her spine and Lexie pressed her body further into him while she hummed appreciatively. Mark didn't really want to disturb the mood but he needed to talk to her.

"I need to talk to you about yesterday."

"What about yesterday? I've already told you that I shouldn't have jumped you like that." Lexie said quietly, her breath brushing over his chest.

"That's not what I want to talk about." Mark said.

Lexie didn't answer him for a few minutes and Mark was almost sure that she decided to ignore him completely but then he could feel her take in a deep breath before she propped herself up on one elbow.

"I'm fine, Mark." Lexie spoke softly.

"Ignoring it, doesn't make it go away." Mark told her. "You can't just sweep it under the rug."

"Look, Mark. This is not a walk in the park." Lexie explained. "They've told me that there are gonna be moments where I'm only a hair's breadth away from a relapse. I came to you instead of using, didn't I?"

"Yeah, but then you covered the problem by seducing me."

"I needed a distraction, Mark. But just for your information. I wanted you from the moment you walked into my hospital room."

"Really?" Mark asked surprised.

"Have you looked in the mirror lately?" Lexie replied, rolling her eyes when a smug grin appeared on his face. "See, you know exactly what effect you have on women. Why are you surprised that I'm no different?"

"I'm not surprised that you fell for my ruggedly handsomeness, but that you are willing to admit that you find me hot." Mark said, the smug grin still on his face.

"I never said that you are hot." Lexie informed him matter-of-factly.

"No? So you wanted me from the moment I walked into your hospital room because you could see my inner beauty?"

"You are incorrigible!" Lexie huffed.

"Why? Because I pushed you into a corner and you have no idea how to get out of it?"

"Oh, I have an idea how to get out of it." Lexie said, a confident expression on her face.

"How?" Mark asked curiously.

"I just need to distract you long enough so that you forget what we were talking about."

"And how do you wanna do that?"

"I have a very talented mouth." Lexie stated bluntly before she disappeared under the sheet.

"Okay, that might even work." Mark replied hoarsely, as he felt her lips kissing a trail down his chest and stomach.

~M&L~

Mark looked aimlessly out of the window. He'd come to his office to take care of some things that he couldn't delay. It was already Friday. She would leave the city in two days and he didn't want her to go. He couldn't stop thinking about her. Recalling all the things they'd done these past few days, put a smile on his face. She could be very enthusiastic and she had dragged him through the whole city, her eyes shining like those of a little kid on Christmas morning. She'd even dragged him to the Empire State Building even though he hated those tourist magnets and tried to stay away from them as far as possible.

After his operation on Monday which had gotten Lexie so excited that she hadn't stopped talking about it for hours, he'd cleared his schedule for a few days. She'd told him that he didn't have to, but strangely he had wanted to spend the time with her. Her childlike enthusiasm was refreshing and he'd enjoyed the last few days immensely. Not to mention the nights that were filled with absolutely fantastic sex.

"Shit." Mark suddenly muttered under his breath. "Shit. Shit. Shit."

Somehow Lexie had managed to wiggle her way into his heart. The last week was one of the happiest weeks in his life and he couldn't believe that it took him so long to realize that she was more than a short affair for him. He had feelings for her. Feelings he couldn't deny any longer. But acknowledging his feelings didn't mean that he knew what he should do now. If he should tell her or if he should let her go.

~M&L~

Lexie stepped into the shower, hoping that the hot water would help her to get rid of some of the anxiety that was building up inside of her. But when the water poured down her body the only thing she could think about was Mark being with her in the shower and she shuddered when she remembered all the things he'd done to her. Groaning loudly, she turned off the water. A shower hadn't been one of her brightest ideas. Apparently. She wiped the fog off the mirror and looked at her face. What was she doing? She wasn't even sure if it was worth it to think about it.

Sure they were having a great time together and not only in the bedroom. But she wasn't sure if he would feel comfortable with her living in the same city as he. She didn't want to force herself on him. He would feel obliged to spend time with her but if he would want to spend more time with her was a different matter.

Lexie wrapped the towel around her and walked into the kitchen. She would wait until he saw his reaction to her leaving in two days before she would make any decision. She loved New York. She would really like to live and work here but not if Mark wouldn't want her here.

When she heard keys at the door, Lexie looked up expectantly, a rush of joy racing through her body. But it wasn't Mark who entered the apartment. It was a blond woman she hadn't seen before and she realized that her appearance wasn't very appropriate to receive any visitors.

"Who are you?" The woman asked her curiously, looking her up and down.

"I can ask you the same question?" Lexie replied defensively, gripping the towel with both hands.

"I'm Carolyn Shepherd."

"Derek's mom?" Lexie's jaw dropped down in surprise and she was even more aware of the fact that she was standing only in a towel in front of the woman who practically raised Mark.

"Do I know you?" Carolyn furrowed her brows, trying to remember the woman in front of her.

She clearly knew who she was but she couldn't remember Mark telling her about this woman before. Not that they had talked a lot over the last few months. Their relationship was a little strained after he'd slept with Addison and ruined the marriage of her son though she still loved him as if he was one of her own. His behavior hadn't changed that. It had only made her angry.

"No. But Mark told me a lot about you. I'm Lexie." Lexie replied self-consciously.

"Interesting body art." Carolyn commented as her gaze stopped at the tattoos on her upper body, suppressing a smile. This woman was definitely interesting and she suddenly remembered Derek telling her about the junkie Mark had brought into the emergency room a few months ago. She would bet that it was the same woman who was standing in front of her now. Interesting, indeed.

"I'm only staying for this week." Lexie said uncomfortable, squirming internally under the scrutinizing gaze. Running around in only a towel in Mark's apartment didn't leave much to the imagination what they were doing while she was here. "I'm leaving the day after tomorrow."

"He never let a woman live with him before. Not even Addison." Carolyn stated, enjoying this situation more and more from minute to minute.

"She didn't deserve him." Lexie replied harshly, overwhelmed by the urge to defend him.

"How do you want to know? Did you even meet Addison?"

"I'm sorry. I know that she was Derek's wife. But I can't have pity with a woman who lied to two men." Lexie said firmly, not willing to fold. "I think she kind of cheated on both of them. I don't know Derek but I'm sure he didn't deserve it either. Mark is an incredible man. He was the one who saved my life."

"You are very protective of him."

"Well, someone should." Lexie replied, folding her arms over her chest, shooting her menacing glances.

Carolyn had to suppress the laughter when she saw this woman standing up to her. Not many people were willing to do so and her heart warmed up to this woman as she realized that there could be only one reason why she was so determined.

"Are you even aware that you are in love with him?"

"What?" Lexie asked totally baffled. "No, he is just a friend."

"Yeah, I'm sure he is." Carolyn replied, her voice full of irony.

"He is really just a friend."Lexie insisted vividly.

Carolyn raised an eyebrow and nodded towards her towel. "A friend? Seriously?"

"Well, it's kind of a 'friends with benefits' thing." Lexie blushed. She hadn't wanted to tell her any details but she sort of cornered her into a corner.

"Friends with benefits, huh? Interesting."

"I ..." Lexie was rendered speechless. This woman had totally taken her by surprise.

"I should go." Carolyn decided that she'd said enough. Judging by the expression on Lexie's face she'd given her something to think about. She hoped for Mark that she would make the right decision. "I have a meeting in an hour. Will you tell him that I stopped by and that he should call me?"

"Of course. Good bye Mrs. Shepherd."

"Good bye, Lexie."

Lexie shut the door firmly behind her and slumped against it, pressing her face into the wooden surface. It couldn't be, could it? She couldn't be in love with him. That wasn't possible. She turned around and looked over the apartment. She felt as if the walls were closing in on her, as if the air had become unbreathable. She ran towards the bedroom and threw some clothes on. She needed to get out of here. She couldn't breathe, she couldn't think. Sweat broke out over her whole body and grabbing her purse she rushed out of the door, slamming it shut behind her.

~M&L~

"Lexie?" Mark called after entering his apartment.

He was excited to see her again especially after he'd admitted to himself that he was in love with her. He needed to see her. But he didn't get an answer. The apartment was quiet. Somehow the silence felt wrong. Mark walked from room to room, searching for her.

"Lexie?"

He got a bad feeling when she still didn't respond and when he walked into the bedroom he saw the towel on the floor, the open closet and some clothes scattered over the bed. Rushing out of the room, he searched the kitchen counter with his eyes, searching for a note from her. Anything to tell him that she was safe, that she hadn't run out on him to get another fix. But he found nothing.

"No. Please, no." Mark whispered, clutching his hand around the towel he was holding in his hand. "No."

* * *

><p><strong>Upss, cliffhanger! :-)<strong>

**I really love to write this alternate versions of them. Helps me cope with the fact that Shonda is trying to drive me crazy. You can't imagine how much I've hoped that Mark would comfort Lexie after her mistake left a woman unable to speak anymore. I know, I'm pathetic to hope for such scenes. No, we get a press release that gives me headaches. Hopefully the whole purpose for this ridiculous situation is that Lexie is forced to tell Mark already about her feelings before it's too late.**


	6. A dream comes true

**I'm feeling really hopeful after seeing the new promo, but on the other hand I still feel the need to not get my hopes up. Well, I think it's a case of 'Once burnt, twice cautious'. I don't trust Shonda and I'm sad that it has come to the point where I'm scared that she will screw with Mark and Lexie again. **

**But enough with the rambling. Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 6: A dream comes true<strong>

Twenty-four hours. She was already gone for twenty-four hours and Mark felt the urge to punch something or someone. He hadn't heard anything from her. No call, no e-mail, no text, no contact at all. Nothing. He'd called all the big hospitals in town, trying to find out if a junkie had been brought into one of their emergency rooms. His heart had stopped for a second when a nurse at the Presbyterian affirmed that they had indeed a junkie who had overdosed in intensive care. Fortunately the description didn't match Lexie, and Mark had exhaled his breath in relief.

But that had been ten hours ago and there was still no sign of her. Calling the police wouldn't be of any help as long as she wasn't gone over twenty-four hours and he was pretty certain that they wouldn't look that hard anyway when they'd heard the story. They would just assume that she'd relapsed and that she would appear sooner or later in a hospital. But Mark didn't want to wait that long.

He had spent hours over hours pacing through his living room, hoping desperately that she would walk through the door any second. He'd tried to calm himself with a few glasses of his favorite scotch but it hadn't helped in the slightest. It had only made him even more restless. Downing one cup of coffee after the other didn't help either. He could almost feel the coffee burning his way through his stomach lining.

He wanted to go search for her but he had no clue where he should start. It would be an impossible task to find one single person in a city as big as New York and if Lexie didn't want to be found he was sure that she would stay off the radar anyway. But he had to do something, he couldn't just wait here.

Determined Mark grabbed his jacket and walked towards the door. He would call a friend at the FBI. Maybe he could give him names of places where a drug addict could get some drugs. It would be a starting point. At least he could try to find her.

~M&L~

Twenty-four hours later Lexie stood in front of his apartment door again. She hadn't even realized that she'd been away for that long while she strolled through the streets of downtown New York, only stopping for a coffee now and then. She hadn't eaten over the last twenty-four hours. She was sure if she would try she would throw up immediately.

She couldn't believe that she had fallen in love with Mark. She couldn't say when it happened exactly. If there was even an exact moment she'd fallen in love with him. She'd felt the connection from the first moment, felt a strange feeling of recognition when they'd started to talk. She hadn't allowed herself to feel more, to let him in. She hadn't realized that it had been already too late.

How could she be so dense? The only reason she'd come to New York was because she needed to see him. She'd started to dream about him. Dreams from which she'd woken up with a start, needing several minutes until her heart beat had slowed down to a normal rate. She'd missed him. She'd missed him from the moment Dr. Torres had given her his letter. She had been furious that he'd left without saying good bye but she'd also felt her heart clench when she'd realized that she might never see him again.

Well, she did see him again and they'd slept with each other. She should have known that sleeping with him would make it even worse. Would make the connection she felt to him even stronger. She should have never come to New York. She should have let him go. But it was pointless to cry over spilled milk anyway. She couldn't erase the last week out of her memories even if she tried. She loved him and she had the feeling that she would never fall out of love with him.

But she could safe herself from even more heartbreak if she just would leave now. He didn't love her so it would only be her heart that would break. She could live with that. She had to live with that.

Though she had a key to his apartment, she raised her hand to knock. But before her hand made contact with the door it opened and Mark stood in front of her.

He looked terrible. He looked as if he hadn't slept for days and she suddenly realized that he hadn't known where she was for the last twenty-four hours. But the moment his eyes fell on her she could see the relief wash over his face before his eyes narrowed with anger.

"God damn it! Where have you been? I was worried sick about you. I ..." Mark pulled her in his arms, almost crushing her. "Oh my god, I'm so glad that you're okay."

Lexie balled her hands into fists beside her. The urge to wrap her arms around him and melt into his embrace was almost unbearable. But she needed to distance herself from him. She already felt her heart cracking.

"I'm sorry." Lexie mumbled into his chest, fighting the tears that welled up in her eyes. "I just needed to get some fresh air."

"For twenty-four hours?" Mark asked incredulously, leaning back to look into her face.

"Yes, I needed to clear my head." Lexie replied quietly. "But I'm sorry that I didn't leave you a note, Mark. I really am."

"Don't do that ever again! Do you understand me?" Mark shook her slightly by her shoulders, his eyes boring into hers.

"I can't do this anymore." Lexie almost shouted. Shoving him away, she rushed into the apartment and Mark stood completely stunned in the door frame before he turned around slowly. He stepped into the apartment and closed the door firmly behind him, his eyes fixated on Lexie.

"What are you talking about?" Mark asked cautiously, seeing that Lexie was on the brink of a breakdown though he had no clue what had happened.

"Sleeping with you. Being with you." Lexie explained, throwing her hands in the air with exasperation.

"What do you mean?" Mark's eyes furrowed in confusion. "I enjoy our time together. Don't you?"

"That's the problem, Mark." Lexie exclaimed, her voice suddenly getting hoarse with emotions. "I enjoy it too much."

"I don't understand."

"Damn it, Mark! Look at me." Lexie's eyes blazed with fury, so she wasn't angry with him. She was angry at herself. Angry for letting herself love him. Angry that she'd fallen so hard for him that she didn't know how she should survive without him.

"I'm looking at you nonstop since I've found you on the street." Mark replied calmly, trying to get to the bottom of it without upsetting her even more.

"That's exactly the point. You found me on the street. A junkie who had overdosed twice in two days. You, a doctor." Lexie gritted her teeth, trying desperately to not fall apart in front of him. "Geez, that sounds like a story from a cheesy chick flick. It's like in Pretty Woman. Well, not really. I'm Vivian but you are not Edward."

"What are you talking about?"

Looking at Mark, Lexie's heart skipped a beat. She didn't know how she should be able to leave him. Only to think about it made her sick to the stomach. Suddenly all the fight drained out of her. She couldn't fight him anymore. She couldn't fight the love to him anymore. Maybe the easiest way to leave him was to just tell him. Maybe hearing about her feelings would scare him so much that he couldn't get rid of her fast enough. Maybe seeing the pity in his eyes because he couldn't reciprocate her feelings would make the whole thing easier. So Lexie locked her eyes on his and just spilled her feelings out.

"That I fell in love with you. That's what I'm talking about. I fell in love with a surgeon. A man who will never love me back. Who can't love me back. I'm a freaking junkie."

"Ex-junkie!" Mark didn't even know why he decided to point that out. But it took him a few seconds before his brain registered what she'd said before she'd called herself a junkie. She was in love with him?

"You deserve better, Mark." Lexie continued in a soft voice. "You might not see it for yourself but you are an amazing man. Every woman should be glad to have you by her side. You are simply fantastic. And I am … I'm just me. A girl who couldn't live with the loss of her parents and threw her life away. I ..."

"Stop! Stop right there. Are you crazy?" Mark interrupted her, a bubble of happiness rising up in his chest. She loved him. He wanted to shout it of the roof, wanted to kiss her senseless. A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. She was in love with him, and he loved her back even though Lexie seemed to believe that he couldn't love her.

"Yeah, I'm crazy to let myself have feelings for you." Lexie replied, her gaze turned to the ground. She was oblivious to the change of Mark's facial expression, oblivious to the fact that he grinned from ear to ear. "I shouldn't have come to New York in the first place. It was a mistake. As if I had ever a chance with you."

"I said stop." Mark hold up a hand, hoping that she would let him speak. "Shut your mouth for just one minute and let me talk."

"But I ..." Lexie started to speak.

"What did I just say?" Mark asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Okay. Go on. But let me down carefully, okay?" Lexie whispered barely above a whisper.

"Let you down carefully?" Mark shook his head disbelievingly, taking the two steps that separated him from her. Standing now directly in front of her, he leaned forward and wrapped his hands around her shoulders. "You are really out of your freaking mind. Why do you think I searched for you for the last twenty-four hours, huh? The thought that you were lying on the street somewhere. It …" Mark had to take in a deep breath when he remembered how scared he'd been for the last twenty-four hours before he spoke quietly. "I was never so scared in my whole life."

"What are you trying to say?" Lexie asked softly, her eyes glued to his, her lips trembling. Mark took her face into his hands, leaning even more forward until his forehead touched hers. Her eyes felt shut when she caressed her cheeks with his thumbs and whispered over her lips.

"That you are not the only one who has fallen in love."

"What?" Lexie jerked back in surprise, her eyes wide open.

"I love you, Alexandra Grey." Mark said, his mouth twitching up in a lopsided grin when he saw the shocked expression on her face. "You are the most extraordinary woman I've ever met and there is no way that I'll let you walk away from this. From us."

"I … I didn't just dream that, did I?" Lexie stuttered disbelievingly.

"No. It's not a dream." Mark replied.

"You want to be with me?" Lexie's voice almost broke as the emotions crashed down on her.

"Didn't I just say that?"

"For real?" Lexie asked, still completely stunned.

"As real as it can get." Mark said. "Move in with me?"

"What? Where? How? Wait, isn't that a little too fast?" Lexie stuttered, totally taken by surprise by his question.

"I already wasted too much years of my life." Mark explained. "I'm not going to waste another minute. I want to be with you."

"You are asking me to move to New York?"

"Well, I work here. But I can always find a job in Seattle if you want to go back."

"You would move to Seattle? For me?" Lexie asked with utter disbelief.

"Why do you sound so surprised? Stop thinking that you don't deserve happiness." Mark told her firmly.

"It's just been a long time since someone cared about me. Cared about what I want." Lexie replied softly.

"I don't just care about you, Lexie. I love you." Mark said and Lexie wrapped her hands around his neck and pulled him down to her to kiss him thoroughly.

"So is this a yes?" Mark asked, a smug smirk appearing on his face.

"Yes! I would love to move in with you." Lexie smiled happily. "Have I already told you that I love you?"

"Hmm, I can remember it vaguely. Maybe you can repeat it?"

"I love you, Mark Sloan. I'm in love with you and I still can't believe that you love me back."

"Do I need to pinch you?"

"Hmm ..." Lexie let her tongue trail along his bottom lip, waiting for him to open his mouth before she stood up on her tiptoes, deepening the kiss. Releasing his lips reluctantly, Lexie sighed heavily and opened her eyes. "No, I think I don't need you to pinch me but I wouldn't mind if you would come to the bedroom with me."

"What for?" Mark asked innocently, suppressing a smile.

"You know exactly why I want you in the bedroom."

"Say it! I want to hear it!"

Lexie took a step back and intertwined her fingers with his, pulling him towards the bedroom. The moment they reached the bed she turned around and let her fingers trail over his chest. Leaning forward, she started to unbutton his shirt while she pressed a kiss at the side of his neck. Nibbling her way up to his jaw, her fingers opened one button after the other until his shirt fell open and she could sprawl her fingers over his taut abs. Shuddering under her caresses, Mark closed his eyes and whispered hoarsely.

"Lex? I'm still waiting."

Taking a step back, Lexie looped a finger behind his belt buckle and pulled him towards her.

"I want to make love with you. I want to make love to you until you scream my name. I want to make love to you until I don't know where your body begins and my ends. I want you to love me as if there were no tomorrow. Make love to me, Mark."

Mark looked down at her flushed face, felt her center pressing into his erection and without saying anything he bent down and lifted her up, throwing her on the bed and following her immediately. Kissing her deeply, he was determined to follow her suggestions to the letter. Making love to her as if there were no tomorrow. Because she was the first woman who was able to make him forget about the future, make him forget about the past. When he was with her the only thing that mattered was the present. Being with here was the only time he could be himself without feeling the need to disguise who he really was. She was the first woman who had seen the real him and she loved him nonetheless.

Lexie couldn't remember the last time she had been that happy. He loved her back and she would even move in with him. She still couldn't believe that she was that lucky. Mark wasn't perfect but he was perfect for her. She loved everything about him. But being in his arms, lying under him on the bed, feeling him moving inside of her … these moments made her heart beat faster, made her almost burst out in tears because she was overwhelmed by the love she was feeling for him. He was the first man who loved her completely. With all her flaws. The first man who had seen her at her worst and he still fell in love with her.

Opening her eyes, she looked up into his and the love she saw in them took her breath away. Leaning down, Mark sealed her lips with his and every coherent thought vanished out of her brain as he began to move inside of her. As he made love to her in a slow and toe-curling way. As he made her forget where her body ended and his began. As he made her forget that there was a world outside of his apartment. As he made her forget that there would be a tomorrow.

* * *

><p><strong>Nope, that's not the ending. I'm not yet done with this alternate universe. So stay tuned. :-)<strong>


	7. Snobs

**Thanks for the reviews, guys! They always put a smile on my face. **

**Happy Easter everyone! Hope you enjoy the new installment.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 7: Snobs<strong>

How much her life had changed over the last year. A year ago she'd almost died of an overdose. Twice. But destiny or fate or whatever you wanted to call it had intervened and sent her a knight in shining armor. He'd picked her up from the street, carried her to the emergency room and saved her life. But no one would have expected that they would fall in love with each other. No one would have thought that, given their completely different lives, they could become a couple. But they did and surprisingly it worked.

Seven months ago she'd come to New York to thank him for everything he'd done for her and ended up in his bed. What had begun with casual sex, had become love faster than she would have ever imagined possible and she was still amazed that he was feeling the same way.

A big smile appeared on her face as she thought of Mark. They were together for seven months now and it still took her sometimes by surprise to see the love shining in his eyes. That it was possible that someone like him loved her. She knew that he was pretty much feeling the same way. Not sure why she had fallen in love with him. They would never know why exactly they'd fallen in love with each other. The mystery of love. Maybe it was the chemicals overflowing her brain, maybe her heart that belonged only to him, maybe her soul that had found its perfect match. It didn't matter. She couldn't imagine a life without him.

Looking down at the grave stone, tears welled up in her eyes.

"You would have loved him, mum. Sure, at first you would have been not happy that I chose a man ten years older than I am, but he loves me and I love him. I know that you always wanted me to be happy. And I am, mum. He came into my life at a time where I needed him the most. He was there to push me back into life, prevented me from throwing my life away. He is amazing. She wanted to come with me, but I told him that I needed to come alone."

Gulping hard, Lexie tried to swallow down the tears. She didn't want to cry. She came to Seattle because she needed to tell her mother how happy she was, even though she couldn't hear her anymore.

"I just wish you could have met him." Lexie wiped away the lonely tear that trailed down her cheek, chuckling slightly. "He would have swept you of your feet in no time. He is very charming. I bet it would have taken him only half an hour to let you forget our age difference. He did it with everyone else. He didn't allow anyone to talk trash about me or us. He made it clear to everyone that I wouldn't go anywhere, that I belong to him, and that they better accept it or leave us alone."

Her heart constricted in her chest when she remembered the first time he'd taken her with him to a party. The first two months of their relationship Lexie had insisted that they kept a low profile. They'd gone out a few times but Lexie had asked him to choose restaurants where it would be very unlikely to meet someone he knew. She hadn't been ashamed of him, but she hadn't been ready to face all the surprised looks they would definitely get from other people. After all Mark was a surgeon and they wouldn't have understood why he'd chosen her as his girlfriend. They would have talked behind their backs. No doubt about that. Assuming that she was only his sex toy and they would have gotten affronted that he didn't leave her at home where she belonged. But one day Mark didn't want to hear any excuses anymore.

~M&L~

"_I love you, Lexie. You are not a fling. You know that. I didn't ask you to move in with me because the sex is fantastic." Mark said urgently._

"_You don't? Well, I think the sex is pretty fantastic." Lexie tried to joke, not wanting to talk about it._

"_Lex, I love you and I'm done hiding our relationship. There is nothing I'm ashamed of."_

"_But what if they don't accept me." Lexie replied softly. "You know they are going to talk."_

"_Then let them talk. I don't care, Lexie." Mark said. "It doesn't matter what other people think. If they can't see how much we are in love, they can shut up and leave us the hell alone. We don't need them. My friends will love you, Lex. Everyone else can shove their snobbery up their asses."_

"_Mark!" Lexie exclaimed, slightly surprised about the vehemence in his voice._

"_What? They are snobs." Mark stated matter-of-factly. "I don't deny it. There will be quite a few who are going to gossip about us. But they are snobbish asses. I'm only stating the truth."_

"_But aren't those snobs your colleagues?"_

"_I'm not a resident anymore, Lex. I'm a world-renowned plastic surgeon. I don't need them to like me. I'm good at what I'm doing. I don't need them to approve of my private life. It's their loss if they don't want to talk to you. Because you are one of the most amazing women I've ever met and if they don't see that, they deserve to be pitied."_

"_Can't we wait until I've got rid of the tattoos?" Lexie asked quietly._

"_I've told you, if you want to get rid of the tattoos, I'll do it. But you don't have to, Lexie. Don't you remember what you've told me the day you moved in?"_

"_I remember." Lexie said barely above a whisper._

"_You've told me that it might sound strange but that you kind of like them." Mark spoke softly. "They are always going to remind you, how far you've come. They would make sure that you would never forget how lucky you've been."_

"_I know, but … what when I'm old and wrinkled? They are going to look hideous."_

"_Can you do me a favor?" Mark asked, trying to convince her by approaching the subject differently._

"_Of course."_

"_I know you don't feel very comfortable with the idea of showing them off, but ..."_

"_What?" Lexie asked suspiciously, almost certain what he wanted to say._

"_I'm actually looking forward to see all the disapproving looks." Mark grinned broadly. "I kind of like the idea to shock them and then I'm going to give you one of those deep, toe-curling kisses you love so much right in front of them and we can listen to all the sharp intakes of breath because we are acting inappropriately."_

"_Isn't that a little childish?" Lexie asked, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth._

"_Maybe. But it would be so much fun." Mark replied with a cocky smile on his face. "Come on, Lex! I'm going to wear a tuxedo and being breathtakingly handsome and you can kiss me senseless in front of all those jealous women."_

"_Cocky much?"_

"_What?" Mark asked innocently. "I am very handsome."_

"_Yes, you are." Lexie sighed and shook her head in mock desperation. "You won't give up until I agree, will you?"_

"_Remember, I'm going to wear a tuxedo and I'm willing to let you rip it off me the moment we are at home." Mark wiggled his eyebrows suggestively._

"_Hmm, very tempting. But what if I want to have a quickie at the party?" Lexie shot back, trying to wipe the cocky smile of his face, but she should have known better. She should have known that he would like the idea. There was hardly anything that could shock him._

"_Ahh, now we are on the same page."_

"_You are incorrigible. We are really doing it, aren't we?"_

"_Having a quickie?" Lexie raised her eyebrows and Mark shot her a mischievous grin. "You betcha! After all you've planted the idea in my head. You can't complain now."_

"_Okay, you win. Let's go to that party."_

_~M&L~_

She had agreed to go to the party with him but she could still remember how her nerves had fluttered when she actually stood all dressed up in front of the mirror.

~M&L~

"_I don't know if this is such a great idea, Mark." Lexie looked self-consciously into the mirror. _

_She wore a dark blue dress that hugged her curves, five inch high heels that made her feel a little uncomfortable though she still remembered how to wear them and walk without falling over her own feet. What made her a little uneasy was the fact that the dress was sleeveless and extremely low-cut, hardly covering her breasts. The dress was amazing but showing of her tattoos like that on a party with people who wouldn't approve of their relationship, scared her._

"_You look gorgeous." Mark said, slipping his hands around her neck, laying a breathtaking necklace on her cleavage. The lonely blue diamond shimmered in the light and Lexie couldn't prevent herself from reaching out and trailing her fingers along the stone. _

"_Mark, it's beautiful." Lexie whispered, her eyes meeting his in the mirror. Leaning down, Mark pressed a kiss on her collar bone, before he kissed his way up her neck until he reached her ear. "Not as beautiful as you are."_

_~M&L~_

It had been difficult to deal with all the whispers behind their backs the moment they'd entered the party. The gazes had dropped immediately to her tattoos and she could see all the disapproving frowns, telling her that they couldn't imagine how she had been able to catch Mark. How he could take her to one of their parties. But Mark had never left her side and he had kissed her right in front of everyone. A kiss that had heated up her skin and as long as the kiss lasted she had completely forgotten where they were.

Though Mark had been right about his friends. They hadn't given her disapproving looks, they had seemed to be genuinely pleased to meet her. Especially one of his best friends, David, who happened to be a surgeon at the same hospital as Mark. His handsome face had made Lexie wonder if every doctor at this hospital looked amazing. His wife, Alex, was as good looking as David, and Lexie had felt intimidated at first, but Alex had wiped away every uneasiness when she hadn't even bothered to shake Lexie's hand but wrapped her arms around her and gave her a firm hug.

A big weight had dropped away from Lexie's shoulders when Alex had asked her about everything, clearly trying to learn more about the woman who was able to make her best friend that happy. She had even enjoyed the party until Mark had decided to remind her of the conversation they had had two weeks before the party. She still felt a little embarrassed that Mark had brought it up in front of his friends.

~M&L~

"_Alex, I need a favor." Mark said, lowering his voice so that only Alex and Lexie were able to understand him._

"_What?"_

"_If anyone ask for us in the next ..." Mark looked at Lexie's flushed face, a cocky smile appearing on his face. "... twenty minutes, tell them that we needed some alone time."_

"_Mark!" Lexie spoke breathlessly. "You are really wanna go through with it?"_

_Alex looked at the two, smiling broadly. They were such a great couple. You could see how much they loved each other. Mark didn't care what everyone else thought, she had even the suspicion that he'd told Lexie to wear a dress that showed off all her tattoos to shock the arrogant crowd that normally attended these kind of parties. She'd never seen Mark so happy. He deserved to be happy and she already liked the woman standing next to him who just slapped him playfully over the chest. _

"_Alone time?" Alex asked though the look on Mark's face gave her a pretty good idea what he was talking about._

"_Yep, alone time. Tell them that we are doing exactly what they think we are doing. Let them get green with envy."_

"_Whooah!" Alex said. "I might have to find David and drag him to a closet myself. You two are definitely oozing out more sex pheromones than I can handle without jumping my husband too."_

"_Go get him then. Lexie and I will go now and have some dirty wall sex." Mark said with a completely straight face, as if he'd just said that they would go get a drink. "If you hear screams don't call the police. It's only Lexie crying out my name in pleasure."_

"_Mark Sloan, I can't believe you just said that." Lexie grumbled, as he dragged her towards the door and she threw an apologetic glance over her shoulder towards Alex who only laughed._

"_Let me ask you one question." Mark whispered in her ear._

"_What?"_

"_Did it turn you on?" His hoarse voice sent goosebumps over her whole body and even if she would say otherwise, her body clearly showed him that it had turned her on._

"_Am I a pervert if I say yes?" Lexie asked softly. _

"_Then we are both perverts and let me tell you … I like being a pervert, if it means I can make love to you wherever and whenever I want."_

_~M&L~_

Even now Lexie flushed when she remembered this evening. He'd almost made her scream out his name in pleasure. They'd almost been caught too. Someone had opened the door to the room they'd been in and if Mark wouldn't have been so impatient that he couldn't wait for them to lay down but had made good on his promise and shoved her against the wall right behind the door, they would have spent the night at a police station being charged for inappropriate behavior in public. It had been the best sex she'd ever had. No doubt. When the intruder thankfully closed the door without coming in, Mark had showed her exactly how dirty and fantastic wall sex could be.

After this party, Lexie had lost all doubts that moving in with him might have been the wrong decision. He'd shown her that the opinion of other people didn't matter. After she'd realized that she could survive being looked at disapprovingly, she'd applied for an internship at Mark's hospital, after she'd made him promise that he wouldn't try to get her in only because she was the girlfriend of Mark Sloan.

She'd gotten into the program and even though she'd been extremely nervous on her first day, the fact that Mark had been only a pager call away from her, made things a lot easier. They had kept a low profile at work, not wanting their relationship to be the main topic of the hospital gossip though it had come out eventually that she was dating the famous Mark Sloan. It had been a little rocky at first until everyone realized that she didn't sleep with him to have advantages at work and he didn't sleep with her to get his ego boosted. Eventually the gossip about them had calmed down, being replaced by more interesting news and the fact that Mark wasn't at the hospital full-time but only for his surgeries.

Surprisingly as it was, she was happy. With her work, with Mark, with her life. Lexie let her fingers trail over the name of her mother on the grave,

"He really is amazing, mum. And very, very good in bed." Lexie chuckled, realizing that it might be a little inappropriate to talk about Mark's abilities in bed while standing in the middle of a graveyard. "I just wanted to let you know, that my life couldn't be any more perfect. We might have met under strange circumstances but he is the love of my life and I thought you might want to hear about the most important person in my life. I need to go now, mum. Back to New York. But I promise I'm gonna visit more often from now on."

Lexie remained silent for a few more seconds before she turned around and walked towards the exit, turning her phone on again, after she'd turned it off when she'd entered the graveyard. As she reached her car, her phone beeped frantically and when she looked at her messages she saw that Mark had tried to reach her five times and left her a message to call him back as soon as she got his message.

But when she tried to reach him, his phone went straight to voicemail and she started to get worried when her phone started to ring and Carolyn's name flashed up on the screen. Opening it hurriedly, she pressed it against her ear, her hands beginning to tremble.

"Yeah?"

"Lexie? Where are you?" Carolyn asked without preamble.

"I'm in Seattle, visiting the grave of my mother. Why? I have some missed calls from Mark. Is everything okay?" Lexie said, a big ball of fear knotting her stomach. The thought the something had happened to Mark almost made her heart stop.

"Lexie, how fast can you get to L.A.?" Carolyn asked urgently, not answering her question.

"L.A.? Why? What happened?" Lexie asked confused, knowing that it couldn't be about Mark because he was in New York and not in Los Angeles. "I've tried to reach Mark but he isn't answering his phone."

"He is on a plane right now." Carolyn explained. "He'd asked me to try to contact you."

"What happened?" Lexie asked, her hand clutching the phone until her knuckles went white. The line was silent for a few excruciatingly long seconds before Lexie could hear Carolyn take in a deep breath.

"It's Addison, Lexie. She died yesterday."

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><p><strong>Did I surprise you with the last line? Hit the button below and tell me. :-) <strong>


	8. I will always love you

**Thanks for the reviews! I know some of you are not happy that I killed off Addison but it was necessary for my plotline. Sorry!**

**I was sitting at our old computer to type this because our laptop is currently in the repair shop. The monitor is soooo huge. You can bash someone dead with it. LOL! Reminds me of the times when cell phones looked like you could use them as self defense weapons. Yep, I'm that old. I had my first cell at twenty-two and it was huge. :-)**

**Okay, just a little warning. You might wanna keep a Kleenex handy. Some of you might even need more than one. This chapter is a tearjerker.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 8: I will always love you<br>**

Carolyn telling her that Addison had died, had knocked the breath out of her. She almost couldn't understand the rest of Carolyn's rushed explanation. Apparently Addison had developed a thrombosis in her leg without anyone noticing it and the resulting blood clot had migrated to her lungs, causing a pulmonary embolism. When her friend had found her in the morning after she hadn't shown up to work it had been already too late. The doctors assumed that the thrombosis must have built itself up slowly and that it was very likely that it had started during or shortly after the pregnancy.

With ice cold fingers Lexie pressed the phone to her ear, listening disbelievingly to Carolyn's quiet voice. A minute later after she'd said good-bye to Carolyn, she immediately looked up the number of the Seattle Airport and booked a seat on the next flight to Los Angeles. Her mind was working on autopilot, all her thoughts being with Mark. Her heart ached thinking about the fact that he'd been alone when he'd received these horrible news. She should have been there. But she hadn't been. The only thing she could do now was to get to Los Angeles as soon as possible.

Miraculously Lexie landed at LAX before Mark's plane from New York arrived. She rushed towards his arrival gate and waited in front of the slide doors, her stomach in anxious knots. The moment Lexie saw Mark coming through the doors her heart pinched painfully. He looked as if he'd aged ten years over the last four days. Four days ago he was kissing her good-bye, reluctant to let her go, and he'd almost convinced her to stay for another round of hot and steamy sex after he'd already surprised her in the shower only one hour earlier.

But the happiness they'd felt just four days ago was all gone now. One stroke of fate and even thinking about sex made Lexie feeling guilty. Suddenly Mark looked up from the floor and spotted her only a few feet away.

"Lex?" Mark asked surprised, before his shoulders dropped down in relief. He hadn't known how he should be able to get through the next couple of hours. But Lexie was here now. He didn't know how she'd gotten to LA that fast but he didn't care. He was just glad that she was here.

Lexie hurried towards him, wrapping her arms around him, squeezing him tightly. Mark buried his head in her hair, the tears that threatened to fall choking his voice.

"I'm so glad you're here." Mark whispered barely audible, his arms tightening around her, crushing her into his chest almost painfully. Lexie could feel a shiver running through his body and she pressed herself even deeper into his chest, knowing unconciously that he needed to keep her in his arms until he would get his composure back. He was too pride to break down in front of strangers in the middle of an airport.

Several minutes later Mark leaned back, pressing a kiss on her forehead, his fingers digging into her shoulders before he stepped back, looking her in the eyes.

"Thanks for coming, Lexie."

"Of course, I came. I wouldn't wanted to be anywhere else. Where is Kate?"

Mark gulped hard when he thought of his two-year old daughter who was a half-orphan now. She didn't know that her mother was dead yet. He didn't even know how you should tell a two-year old that her mother would never come back.

"Naomi is watching her for a few hours. She is at Addison's house. We didn't want to upset Kate. She should be in a familiar environment when we are going to tell her."

"She don't know yet?"

"No. Naomi thought it would be better if I was there. She might not know me very well but she knows that I'm her father. I might be able to help. " Mark rubbed his hand through his hair, sighing heavily. "So I have no idea how I could be of any help. She lost her mother. Nothing I can say is gonna change that."

"But you can take her in your arms." Lexie stated softly. "She'll need it."

"Yeah, I can do that."

"What do you wanna do next?" Lexie asked. "Check in a hotel?"

"No. I need to go to the hospital first. I need to see her." Mark stated, determination evident in his voice.

"Do you really think that's such a good idea, Mark?" Lexie asked carefully. "Do you really wanna see her?"

"I need to, Lex. I just … I have to see her one last time. I need … I want to say good-bye."

"I understand. So let's go."

~M&L~

One hour later they were standing in front of the closed doors of the morgue. Even though she was working at a hospital for quite some time now she would never get used to the smell that seemed to be embedded in the walls surrounding the morgue. It would always remind her of death.

Mark grabbed her hand tighter and she looked up into his face. He was trying to hide his emotions, his face a rigid mask besides his blue eyes that were burning out of his pale face. Lexie could see the fear and hesitation deep in them.

"Are you still wanna do this?" Lexie asked him quietly and Mark only gulped hard, giving her a sharp nod. "Do you want me to leave you alone?"

"No." Mark barked out harshly and Lexie jumped in surprise hearing his tone. Sending her an apologetic glance, Mark rolled his shoulders as if the shirt he was wearing was too tight, clearly feeling uncomfortable in his own skin. "Sorry. I don't want to go in there alone. Can you come with me?"

"Of course."

After the doors slid shut behind them, an eery silence fell over the room. The assistant who had led them down here, stood at the other end of the room, giving them some privacy and Lexie squezzed Mark's hand supportively.

"I'm here."

Mark took in a deep breath and stepped closer to the steel table, his hands were shaking as he pulled the green sheet back to uncover Addison's face. Fortunatley her facial expression was kind of peaceful, her red hair a stark contrast against her pale skin, her lips a light blue. Mark balled his hands into fists and Lexie stepped closer, laying a comforting hand between his shoulder blades.

He didn't cry, didn't make a move. He was only standing there for several minutes, staring down at her face. For once even his eyes didn't give anything away. Suddenly he inhaled deeply and straightened himself, covered her face with the sheet again and turned around slowly, a blank expression on his face.

"Let's go."

~M&L~

Lexie would have given anything to make the next task any easier for him. Kate had been all excited when Mark entered the house. Stumbling in his direction, she shrieked happily when he scooped her up in his arms. Lexie had seen Kate a few times over the last year. She had more resemblance with Addison than Mark except of the blue eyes that were the exact shape and color as the ones of her dad.

Lexie could see how much it cost Mark to not break down. His gaze searched the woman sitting on the couch and she gave him a sharp nod as a way of greeting, her eyes welling up with tears.

It had been horrible to watch how Mark had tried to explain to his daughter that her mother would never come back. She was way too young to understand what he was trying to tell her. At the end she'd shouted at him, throwing her fists at him, crying for her mother and Naomi had taken her into her room to calm her down and Kate had finally fallen asleep, the exhaustion overwhelming her.

"She just needs a little time, Mark." Naomi spoke quietly, squeezing his shoulder.

"I know."

"Are you two going to be okay?" Naomi asked softly. They'd decided that it would be best if Lexie and Mark would sleep in the guest bedroom here in the house. Naomi would sleep next door in the house of her ex-husband, so that she would be nearby if they needed her help with Kate this night.

Mark thanked her quietly, before he closed the door behind her. Lexie approached him carefully and wrapped an arm around his waist, pressing her face into his chest. Mark hugged her briefly before he stepped back, telling her that he wanted to check on Kate.

Lexie walked into the kitchen, feeling uncomfortable to rummage through the drawers. But they needed something to drink. Finding a bottle of scotch for Mark she decided that she needed a strong drink too and filled two glasses generously with scotch before she dropped one ice cube in every glass.

The air in the room felt suddenly sticky and Lexie walked over to the big glass door, leading to the beach. Opening it with one hand, she balanced the glasses on her other hand, stepping out in the welcoming coolness of the night, inhaling deeply the scent of the ocean.

Sitting down on a chair, facing the ocean, she closed her eyes briefly, trying to seek comfort in the soft sound of the waves crashing on the beach. She could hear the wood squeaking softly when Mark stepped onto the terrace. When he dropped down in the chair beside her, she handed him wordlessly one glass and Mark cocked an eyebrow in surprise as he spotted the one in her hand.

"Since when do you drink scotch?"

"I needed something strong."

Mark only nodded and leaned back in his chair, dropping the baby phone on the floor, his fingers tightening around the glass. For several minutes they both listened to the ocean, neither wanting to disturb the silence, but suddenly Mark shifted in his chair and his quiet voice got carried to her over the sound of the waves.

"I killed her."

"What?" Lexie asked completely baffled, almost choking on the sip of scotch she'd just taken.

"I killed the mother of my child." Mark replied quietly, his gaze glued to the ocean.

"What are you talking about?"

"If we hadn't slept together, she would still be here." His voice was eerily calm, as if he was stating hockey statistics, not telling her that he'd killed Addsion. "She died because I couldn't keep my cock in my pants." Mark said harshly, putting his glass down on the porch with a loud thud, and Lexie flinched involuntarily as she heard his strong language. "I never was in love with her, Lexie. We should have never given in to the temptation in the first place. I only wanted to fuck her. Nothing more."

"Mark, I don't think …" But Mark didn't let Lexie finish her sentence before he interrupted her, his voice suddenly hoarse with emotions. "She was the wife of my best friend and now she is dead because of me." Mark's voice broke and he buried his face in his hands.

"Hey." Lexie slipped from her chair, crouching down in front of him. Wrapping her hands around his, she pulled them softly away from his face. "Look at me, Mark."

Her heart almost stopped when she saw the devastation in his eyes. His blue eyes were swimming in tears, though he refused to let them fall. He'd decided that he hadn't the right to grieve, the guilt was written all over his face.

"It was not your fault, Mark. Do you hear me?"

"I got her pregnant." Mark replied, his voice full of self-loathing. "She didn't want to have a child with me. If she would have gone through with the abortion as she'd first planned then she would still be alive. I've convinced her not to abort our child."

"Mark!" Lexie said urgently, taking his face between her hands, forcing him to look into her eyes. She needed him to look at her, to see that she was telling him the truth. "You've convinced her, you didn't force her to have the child. You've shown me the pictures of her and Kate. She was happy, Mark. She loved her."

"Yeah, she did love her." Mark whispered.

"You know such things can happen." Lexie said, her fingers stroking over his cheeks. "The chances are extremely slim. But it happens. Addison's pregnancy might have caused the thrombosis, but these things are unpredictable. She could have gotten a thrombosis because she fell from a chair. You know that, Mark."

"Lex, logically you might be right." Mark paused briefly, licking his lips. "But ... I can't wrap my head around logic right now. She died, Lexie. Addison died and ... I might not have loved her like I love you but ..."

"You still loved her." Lexie said quietly. "Just in a different way."

"I ... oh my God, Lex." Mark pulled her hands from his face, wrapping his fingers painfully around hers. "She died. She ... I'm never gonna talk to her again. I know we hardly spoke to each other and when we did it was only about our daughter, but ... I'm still gonna miss her. I ... I can't believe she is gone."

Mark's breathing got erratic in the desperate attempt to keep it together. Biting his bottom lip, he pressed his eyes shut and a lonely tear trailed down his cheek. Lexie had never seen anything more heartbreaking in her whole life than this normally self-confident man who'd stayed at her side through one of the roughest times of her life without giving up on her, sitting in front of her, mourning the loss of a woman he'd thought he had no right to miss.

Lexie slipped on his chair, pressing her body into his, pulling his head in the crook of her neck, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, giving him as much support as she was able to give. She knew words wouldn't help right now. So she just held him in her arms and Mark wrapped his arm around her waist. Lexie could feel the exact moment his emotions got the better of him and he started sobbing into her chest.

She'd never seen him cry before and the sobs that came out of his throat, broke her heart. Tears welled up in her eyes and streamed down her cheeks. She couldn't help him other than be there for him. Like he had been there for her.

Lexie never loosened her grip until Mark's sobs had subsided and he sat up, wiping over his face, trying to remove the traces of his tears. She could feel that he felt embarrassed that he broke down like that in front of her. Clearing his throat, Mark turned his gaze to her, his voice still hoarse from crying.

"I'm so grateful that you're here, Lexie." Mark lifted his hand, caressing her cheek. "I don't know what I would do without you, but ..."

"What?" Lexie asked, laying her hand over his, tilting her head into his hand.

"I can't expect you to stay." Mark said barely above a whisper. It took Lexie a few seconds until the meaning of his words got through to her and her hand dropped from his as she straightened herself.

"Are you out of your mind?" Lexie asked, her voice full of hurt. "I'm not leaving you. Why do you even say that? Do you want me to leave?"

"No, oh my god, no." Mark shook his head vehemently, leaning forward to give her a fierce kiss. "I love you, Lex. But ..."

"Mark, you are scaring me?" Lexie's hand thigtened on his chest, her fingers crumbling his shirt in her palm.

"But you didn't sign up for this." Mark said softly, his hand finding hers on his chest, wrapping his fingers around hers.

"What do you mean with this?" Lexie asked him wide-eyed. Dreading his next words, Lexie said in a desperate tone. "I love you, Mark Sloan."

"Kate is my daughter, Lex." Mark said, suddenly standing up from the chair, pacing up and down in front of her. "I want to be her father. I can't ... I need to be there for her. She just lost her mother and she is only two. I don't want her to grow up with someone else. I can't just turn my back on her. She is my daughter." Mark took in a deep breath and Lexie could swear that even though it was pitch dark and he couldn't see his eyes, that she wouldn't like the expression in them.

"I love you, Lexie. I'm always gonna love you. You are the love of my life." Lexie held her breath, the tears running down her cheeks silently, but Mark continued, oblivious to her reaction. "But I have responsibilities. I'm her father. She needs me. I ... " Closing his eyes, Mark turned around, facing the ocean, his back to Lexie. "I can't ask you to be the mother to a child that is not yours. I can't do this to you, Lexie. You have your whole life in front of you. An incredible career as a surgeon. I don't want you to leave, but I think you should." Mark's voice got lower and lower and Lexie was hardly able to hear his next words over the sounds of the ocean. "Even if it means that I have to tear out my heart and live without it for the rest of my life."

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><p><strong>Hit the button below and tell me what you think. And only for your information. The house I had in my head while writing this was Addison's house from <strong>_Private Practice_**. **


	9. Together forever

**I know it's been forever and I'm sorry that it took me so long especially since I knew that this would probably be the last chapter. Yes, this is the final installment. But I'm sure you understand that the last weeks, especially the last one, were excruciating and my shipper heart is still bleeding. So I hope you'll enjoy this happy end for Mark and Lexie. The happy end they would have deserved to have on the show too.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 9: Together forever<strong>

Lexie's first impulse was to yell at him, to grab him by his shoulders and shake the nonsense out of him. But she'd heard the desperation in his voice, had seen it on his face. To make him understand what she felt, she needed to take another approach.

Slowly she walked towards him and lifted her hand, slipping it around his jaw to pull his head gently around so that he had to face her. She could see the utter devastation in his eyes and she felt a sharp pain stabbing her heart. Standing up on her tiptoes she pressed her lips against his for a few seconds before she lowered herself back on her heels, her eyes searching his, her hands still cradling his cheeks as she whispered so that her voice was just barely audible over the sound of the waves.

"I love you, Mark Sloan." Lexie's voice dropped even lower and Mark had to strain his ears to understand what she said next. "Don't you dare try to push me away. I'm not going anywhere. You were there for me when I needed you most. Even if I wouldn't love you as much as I do, I owe you. But I love you. I'm deeply in love with you. I'm not turning my back on you because there is a bump in the road. I didn't expect that we live happily ever after without any disruptions. Life doesn't work that way. We both know that. I'm not saying that it's going to be easy. But she is your child, Mark. She is a part of you. She is half _you_. We are going to make this work. I waited my whole life for someone like you and I'm not willing to let you go. Ever."

"You are staying?" Mark choked out, a tear slipping down his cheek.

"Of course I'm staying." Lexie replied softly, her fingers wiping the tear away gingerly.

"But ..." Mark started to speak, but Lexie shook her head, stopping him before he could say anything more.

"How often do I have to say it?" She said exasperatedly, her voice full of determination as she pronounced every word with great emphasis. "I … LOVE … YOU."

Lexie pulled his head down, sealing his lips with hers, sweeping her tongue into his mouth, kissing him passionately before she released his lips and whispered only inches from his face. "I love you. For better or for worse. In sickness and in health. In good times and in bad."

"Did you just recite the wedding vows to me?" Mark asked slightly baffled, a small smile appearing on his face.

"I did." Lexie replied, smiling back at him.

"You want to marry me?" Mark leaned back, his eyes full of astonishment.

Lexie took a few seconds to think about it before a huge smile split up her face.

"Yes, I do want to marry you. But not right away. Let's just take one step at a time. Okay?" Mark only nodded, unable to say anything and Lexie looked deep into his eyes, continuing playfully. "And of course I want a proper proposal. With flowers and everything else. Especially you on one knee in front of me with a ring in your hand that will take my breath away."

"I think I can manage that." Mark shot her a crooked smile.

"I count on it. But you'd better prepare yourself." Lexie stated ominously.

"For what?"

"For a full house."

"A full house?" Mark furrowed his brows in confusion.

"Yes, a house full of mini Sloans."

"You mean kids?" Mark's jaw dropped down in surprise. "With me?"

"Stop sounding so surprised." Lexie replied harshly, putting her finger under his chin, pulling it up to shut his mouth. "Of course I want to have kids with you. At least three. We don't want to waste your gene potential, do we?"

"I love you, Alexandra Grey." Mark said hoarsely, threading his fingers into her hair. "I don't know if I deserve someone like you but I will be forever grateful that I almost ran you over. It was the best thing that ever happened to me."

"No, I will be forever grateful that you picked me up from the street. I can't imagine a life without you, Mark."

Mark pulled her into his embrace, wrapping his arms tightly around her while they both stared into the darkness of the ocean. Lexie pressed her ear against his chest, smiling when she heard his heart thumping its steady rhythm. She had found the love of her life and she would not let him go.

~M&L~

_19 years later_

Lexie was standing on the patio, watching her husband and their three kids running around on the lawn, setting the table for the arrival of their daughter, Kate, who would come home from college today. They'd fired up the barbecue grill and the air was buzzing with excitement.

Suddenly an arm slipped around her waist and Lexie turned her head, smiling at the young woman she considered one of her own as much as the three on the lawn.

"You are early. Welcome back." Lexie said, hugging her tightly before she released her out of her embrace and they both turned around to look at the four people who were still busy arranging everything, oblivious to Kate's arrival.

"I don't think I ever thanked you." Kate said out of the blue.

"For what?" Lexie asked curiously.

"For staying." Kate said plainly, turning her head towards the woman she always considered her mother even though she wasn't her biological one.

"I never regretted it." Lexie replied softly.

"He wouldn't have been the same, you know." Kate looked at her father, a smile appearing on her face. "He would have loved me no matter what. I know that. But if he had to live his life without you … he just wouldn't have been the same."

"I never thought that it's that obvious."

"That he loves you more than anything? Yes, you only have to watch you two. It's in the small gestures. A stroke over your shoulder here, a smile there. I could have grown up without knowing that a love like this exits. So thank you. Thank you for loving me."

"Why shouldn't I?" Lexie asked surprised. "You are my daughter. You might not have half of my genes like those three." Lexie pointed to the commotion around the barbecue grill. "But you are still my daughter."

"But I look so much like my biological mother." Kate said slowly.

"I'm not gonna lie. It was difficult. Especially at the beginning when you resented me completely. But you have so much of your father in you. At first I loved you because you are a part of him, but when you developed your own personality I loved you for yourself. You are a wonderful woman, Kate."

"Because of my wonderful parents." Kate said softly, tears welling up in her eyes. But before she could start crying, Paul spotted her and walked over to them quickly. With his fourteen years his body was still all lanky but you could already see the first signs of the man he would become and the Sloan genes couldn't be denied. Paul was the one who has inherited the most from Mark appearance-wise.

"Hey, big sis. How was college?" He leaned down and hugged her, planting a kiss squarely on her lips, making her giggle.

"Good but exhausting. I'm glad to be home."

"Kate, you are here!" Leslie shouted and ran over the lawn, crushing into her sister, knocking the breath out of her. With her eleven years she was always complaining that she was too big for a girl, clearly due to the Sloan genes, and that the boys were always making fun of her. But her hair and eyes were all Lexie, promising that she would grow up to be a beautiful woman.

"We've missed you, Katie."

Kate looked up into the eyes of her oldest brother, the only one who called her Katie. She didn't even know when it started but the whole family respected that it was David's name for her without using it themselves. David had the blue eyes of his father, combined with the almost black hair of his mother and with his seventeen years he looked already extremely handsome. He would leave some broken hearts in his wake in the future.

"I missed you, too. All of you."

"I sure hope so." Her father's voice got carried over the lawn as he walked towards her, his blue eyes shining with love and joy to see her and Kate rushed into his arms, burying her face in his chest.

"Hey, Dad." She murmured, tears pricking the back of her eyes again. She didn't even realize how much she missed her whole family until she was enveloped by the arms of her father.

"Hey, kiddo." Mark whispered, pressing a kiss on her forehead. "I'm glad to have you back for a few weeks."

Kate stayed in his embrace for a few more seconds before Leslie tugged at the hem of her shirt. "Come look, Kate. I've set the table all by myself."

"Liar." Paul teased her, pulling gently at one of her pigtails.

"Almost all by myself. Come on, Kate." Leslie pulled Kate towards the table and she threw an apologetic glance back to her parents mouthing silently 'Talk to you later' before she followed her little sister, accompanied by her brothers who started to bicker about who was better at the grill.

Lexie leaned against the railing, smiling happily as she watched their children. As Mark wrapped his arms around her from behind she put her hands over his, laying her head back on his shoulder.

"We did well, didn't we?" Mark said softly, brushing his lips over her cheek.

"We did amazing." Lexie replied, turning her head to press her lips on his.

"I love you, Lex." Mark whispered over her lips, their children forgotten at the moment as he looked down at his wife. "Thank you for sharing your life with me."

"I can't imagine it any other way. I love you too, Mark." Her lips parted slightly as Mark's tongue swept into her mouth, her hand trailing to the base of his neck, pulling him further down to her as they lost themselves into the kiss.

Both were oblivious of their children standing against the table looking at them with big smiles on their faces. Still after almost eighteen years of marriage the love between them was as strong as ever and as Kate, Paul, David and Leslie were watching their parents they were all hoping that one day they would also find their respective others, the one person who would complete them. Like their parents had found each other.

**The end**

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><p><strong>Thank you to everyone for reading and a special thank you to all my reviewers. Your reviews always brighten my day. So click the button below one last time for this story and tell me if this happy end was satisfying.<strong>


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